


Falling From Cloud 9

by alyssamalik



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Explicit Sexual Content, Jealous Louis, M/M, One Direction 2012, Sad Harry, Sexual Content, Sexual Violence, Teenage One Direction, Top Louis, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-13
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 08:19:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3929695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssamalik/pseuds/alyssamalik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><img/><br/>Harry and Louis were meant for each other and everyone could see that, even them, but what started out as floating on cloud nine had Harry rapidly descending back down to Earth. He tries to block everything out and remodel his old reality of happiness with the man he loves, but it always seems to fall out of his hands and shatter at his feet. He knows that Louis never means to hurt him, but how long can he keep telling himself that lie…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

He has no clue how he got in this position, sitting in the bathroom on the floor, with endless tears streaming down his black and blue bruised face. He couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror anymore, not without seeing what Louis has to see every single day. _You worthless, good for nothing piece of shit_ was the last stinging words he had said to Harry tonight before punching him in the left side of his face. But Harry knew he was going to get it tonight due to Louis new habit of going on drinking binges practically every single day they don’t have to work. Even though the punches hurt, he could take it especially knowing that Louis didn’t mean to hurt him; it was just the alcohol messing with his head.

Now that Harry thinks about it, these little ‘physical arguments’ they have (Harry will never ever call them beatings) all started when they finally became internationally famous. Harry’s seen countless times on sites like twitter and tumblr where people continuously attack Louis; always calling him derogatory names like ‘a flaming homosexual’ or saying things like how he is a terrible singer and does not even belong in One Direction. Seeing things like that about the person you love hurts, and knowing that you can’t do anything to protect them from it hurts even more.

But Harry would always stick by his side for Louis to curl into on those long nights where he would finally have his breakdowns. Those breakdowns where all the weight of the world becomes too much for one person to handle; too much for one person to carry on their shoulders every single day, until the mental support wears thin and they just have to cry it out.

Harry watched it all happen though; the many months where Louis would break into pieces in Harry’s arms just to be put back together again. Those months now expanded into a little over two years and now every time Louis breaks is when he has a little too much to drink. The bad part is when Louis breaks with too much alcohol in his system; it’s no longer the sadness, but it’s the anger that he always takes out on Harry.

“OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR,” Louis yells from the other side of the too-thin bathroom door that Harry has his eyes glued to; watching it cave in slightly under the force of Louis heavy hands. The hands that Harry used to love; used to be gentle and cause him pleasure, but now only cause him pain and leaves dark bruises for days. “DID YOU FUCKING HEAR ME BITCH? I KNOW YOUR FUCKING IN THERE,” Louis rages even more, pounding the door even harder.

“Louis! Please stop yelling;” Harry shouts back, “I’ll open the door if you calm down.”

“I AM FUCKING CALM. JUST OPEN THE DOOR HARRY.” Harry. The only time that Louis even calls him by his proper name is when he’s drunk and angry.

“Lou! Please you’re not calm. Babe, just take a few deep breaths and I’ll open the door,” Harry calls back, still watching the door from his location on the other side of the bathroom opposite the door.

There are a few moments of silence before Louis breaks it with a quieter, “Please Harry open the door. I’m sorry I hit you.” And it sounds sincere enough, calm enough that Harry stands up and makes his way over to the door. Turning the lock to open it so that he can finally see the Louis he knows is there deep down under all those alcoholic phases and flamboyant facades; his Louis that he fell in love with in the toilets at the X Factor auditions over two years ago.

Standing there on the other side of the door is Louis, with his arms spread wide and the most down-trodden expression on his normally happy features. His usually sparkling cerulean blue eyes show nothing but sorrow towards the younger boy. And with that one look Harry is running into those open arms; face buried into tan skin and navy blue shirt, shaking with sobs while the older boy whispers “I’m so sorry’s” and “I love you’s” and the occasional “you know that wasn’t me. I’m so lucky to have you. I will never hit you again” into curly chestnut locks.

But all the while they are wrapped up into their tight embrace; Harry just cannot shake the tummy twisting feeling that Louis will do it again, because Louis’ already told him that lie many times before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this a while ago but now I want to finish this story by the end of the summer. I started writing this during a bad period in my life and I know that I'll probably get flack for it but if you don't like it, please don't read it. I want to let everyone know that this story may be triggering so PLEASE DON'T READ IT IF VIOLENCE AND ABUSE TRIGGER YOU. thanks. 
> 
> I will be editing the story as I go. I started this so long ago so I am sure that my writing style may have changed.
> 
> I will also be adding tags to the work as I go, I am currently in the process of rereading my own work.
> 
> I'll try not to keep everyone waiting again 
> 
> \- alyssa.x


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a rape scene, so if that is triggering for you PLEASE DONT READ IT.

Waking up the next day was a struggle; it was way too early for Harry. After Louis apologized for hitting Harry earlier that day, he brought Harry to bed where he quickly dropped off to sleep soon after hitting the pillow. Well Louis thought he went to bed but Harry was just faking it for Louis sake. Harry waited patiently for Louis to fall asleep; his smaller body tucked up tightly into his chest. When he felt the once uneven breaths slow down and the wrinkles in his face smooth out and soften; Harry quickly detached himself from his peaceful boyfriend.

He turned away from Louis so that his back was facing him and let the tears come. He knew that he couldn’t let Louis see him cry for that would make him feel even worse. He cried for what felt like hours, not even looking at the clock before he finally fell into unconsciousness. 

Now it was the morning, the light was streaming in through the windows and blinding Harry’s newly awoken eyes. He turned around expecting to feel a smaller, warmer body lying next to him. But to his surprise he felt relief wash over him when he ran his hand over the flat unmade sheets. The other side of the bed was still warm but at least Harry could spend a few minutes to compose himself without having to see Louis.

Harry finally sat up, yawning and stretching his aching limbs. He climbed out of bed and slowly walked his way into the bathroom connected to his and Louis’ bedroom. When he looked at his face in the mirror it took all his will power to not throw up, cry and sink to the floor all at the same time. His face looked even worse this morning than how he remembered it when he was crying on the floor last night.

The bruise he received from his boyfriend got even darker and swollen. It was on his cheekbone right under his left eye. It was so ugly that not even all the makeup the stylists caked on their faces before performances and interviews could hide it.

Harry literally felt like burning himself alive. How is he supposed to hide this from the boys, the fans or even from management without them asking questions or causing a scene? All he had was two more free days before an interview for some radio show that he could not even bother remembering the name to. (That was usually Liam’s job to tell the rest of them where they were going so that they wouldn’t make a mess of their image).

Harry quickly jumped into the shower; he couldn’t take looking at his face in the condition that it was in. He loved showers, it was his only time where he could think while being alone in his crazy pop star life, the only time in his life where he could take a step back and just breathe. He thought about how it was better when Louis would hit him in places that he could cover, and then he wouldn’t have any problems with people asking questions. Then he thought about how Louis hitting him became a thing that was so common that it was okay to let happen. Well Louis was the only person who would love him so Harry could take all the pain. Love was pain right?

Harry just let the warm water run down his naked body after cleaning himself and washing his hair with his favorite vanilla scented shampoo. After about a good fifteen minutes, he finally hopped out and wrapped himself up in the fluffiest towel he could find. With how he was feeling he at least deserved that much. 

He waddled back into the bedroom, dropping the towel and throwing on a pair of sweatpants (because really who wears underwear when you’re just going to laze around the house all day) and threw on one of Louis’ thin jumpers. He loved wearing Louis’ jumpers because they always slightly swallowed him up and smelled just like his Louis, which always made him feel safe and warm inside.

Looking at the clock it was only almost ten in the morning, and Harry was starving. He slowly slipped out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen but stopped just outside the door when he heard the familiar humming of his boyfriend. 

A million thoughts ran through his head but the only one that kept his attention was _what is he going to do when he sees my face?_ He took a deep breath to calm himself before stepping forward and into the kitchen.

Louis was standing by the counter with his back towards Harry; his hands around the mug of tea he always makes in the morning while staring at the view out the window at the new day.  
Harry tried to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to disturb Louis in his morning routine but of course as clumsy as he was his foot had to bump into the chair at the table, causing an awful screeching sound against the tile of the kitchen floor.

Louis turned around in a flash and Harry looked down to the floor closing his eyes. He didn’t want Louis to be mad nor did he want Louis to see his swollen face. But it was a short lived hope when Louis started talking.

“Well good morning there Hazza, how did you sleep love?”

“Fine, it was… fine,” he responded lowly.

“Would you like some tea babe? I’ll make you a mug; just sit at the table alright?” Lou spoke in his chipper morning voice.

“Th-thanks,” Harry stuttered out, still not looking at his boyfriends face. He went to turn towards the table but was stopped with the smaller hand that harshly yanked his chin up.  
He closed his eyes, expecting another harsh blow to somewhere, anywhere on his body. But he was pleasantly surprised when he opened his eyes moments later to see sad blue ones staring back at him. Harry leaned into the feeling of a warm thumb circling the soft skin of the un-bruised side of his face.

“I’m so sorry baby, really I am.” Louis pulled away, walking to the refrigerator to pull out some frozen ice cubes, and then getting a dishcloth out of the drawer to put them in before moving back to where Harry was still standing frozen in the middle of the kitchen.

Louis moved in closer this time, gently resting the ice on Harry’s bruised cheek and reveling in the way Harry’s breath hitched and eyes closed at the contact. “C’mon love you can sit down,” Louis said while gently moving Harry backward until he was sitting on one of the chairs. He grabbed Harry’s left hand and moved it to hold the ice. “I’ll make you that tea now,” Louis stated with one of his charming smiles and he gently leaned down to kiss Harry’s forehead.

Harry couldn’t help but to smile back, even though on the inside he was completely shocked. Louis wasn’t mad, nor was he beating the shit out of him. But he was taking care of him, and that itself was a first.

Moments later found both Harry and Louis sitting at the little table in the kitchen, drinking their tea in silence and stealing small glances at each other, neither of them knowing how to break the silent tension that was slowly eating away at them both. 

Harry of course was the first one to break it after sitting there awkwardly for what felt like forever after he finished his tea with a, “Thanks for the tea Lou.” That rewarded him with a bright smile from the older boy.

And that was how they got on for the rest of the day; Harry tiptoeing around Louis, trying to stay on his good side while Louis was completely oblivious to how scared Harry was on the inside.  
It was later that evening where Harry was laying comfortably under the blanket on the living room couch; texting Niall on his phone and watching some dumb movie he decided to stop on while channel surfing when Louis walked in, or more likely stumbled in, with a half empty bottle of liquor in his hand.

“Hellloooooo Hazzabearr!” Louis slurred, sliding onto the couch and under the blanket with Harry.

He visibly tensed when he smelt the alcohol on his boyfriend’s breath and even though he barely ever went to church, he was silently praying to God that nothing bad would happen to him tonight.

Small hands reached for his hips and started rubbing lazy little circles with his thumbs that easily eased the tension in Harry’s body. Those same hands started going in opposite directions after a while; one hand reaching under Harry’s sweatpants to his crotch while the other started trailing up and under the jumper to the first of four nipples it could get.  
Harry made the mistake of letting out a low “No” under his breath in surprise and that spurred Louis’ next actions on.

In the blink of an eye Harry was roughly pushed to the carpeted floor; clothes ripped off his body until he was laid bear with his boyfriend between his legs.

“What the fuck Harry,” Louis snickered, “did you really just try and say no to me?” Louis brought both hands up and clawed down Harry’s chest, even over his nipples, causing him to let out a hiss in surprise.

Louis reached down and started rapidly tugging on Harry’s limp cock, causing him to whimper in pain. He was quick to shut that up though, wrapping his other hand around his boyfriend’s throat and leaning forward to give him a harsh kiss on the mouth.

Harry could not even breathe with the force of Louis’ hand around his neck but maybe if Louis kept squeezing he’d be able to pass out and not have to endure what would happen next.

“Maybe I shouldn’t even open you up huh? I don’t think you deserve prep. Plus I’m really horny right now and we both know how much you gag for my cock” Louis spat out eyes growing darker and darker with every flick of his wrist.

Harry closed his eyes, trying to imagine that he was in his happy place with Louis, his Louis, not drunk Louis who was about to hurt him yet again.

“Fucking open your eyes you filthy whore,” Louis hissed, venom in his words that would scare even convicted murderers in prison. Harry opened his eyes then and Louis stopped tugging at his cock, instead reaching down lower and gently rubbing his fingers over the puckered skin. “Yeah I want you to be nice and tight for me, just like this.”

In that instant Louis lined up his hard leaking member and roughly shoved into his boyfriend’s tight heat; causing Harry to let out the most earsplitting screech. Louis used one hand to wrap around his throat and the other to cover up his boyfriend’s mouth while he roughly fucked into him.

Harry closed his eyes when he felt the pressure on his neck return, but this time it was accompanied by a soul ripping pain traveling up his spine from his arse, and he was also almost one hundred percent certain that he was bleeding. But he didn’t know for sure.

The pain didn’t even get better either, only got worse the faster Louis went. The pace picking up getting to an almost animalistic speed of pounding into his skinny, frail boyfriend until he was cumming, hard. Multiple spurts of hot liquid filled up Harry’s insides before Louis relieved Harry of all his weight and force by pulling out of him.

Harry laid there shaking on the floor; eyes squeezed shut and legs still spread apart from where Louis was laying in between only a few moments ago. Saying that Harry was scared shitless was the least you could say about his situation, but he couldn’t move, still stunned in his spot. He never even came nor did he get hard from everything Louis did; and the worst part was that his arse hurt and there was now cum and maybe a little blood leaking out of his sore abused hole.

Louis looked down at his still shaking boyfriend before barking out, “Go clean yourself up bitch, if you make a mess on this floor you’ll be fucking sorry for it later. Stop being a worthless dramaqueen,” before grabbing his liquor bottle and walking out of the room. Leaving his traumatized boyfriend curled in on himself in a shaking ball in the middle of the living room floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that was a bit much...
> 
> come visit me on tumblr @ [soulfatelarry](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/)  
> \--alyssa.x


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to upload this chapter on Saturday but I witnessed one of the worst accidents of my life. I was out hiking with my mother when I witnessed a woman trip and fall 150 feet off the side of a mountain and she fell to her death. My heart goes out to the husband and the daughter who was there and for her other two daughters. I'm writing this message to say that life is short and make sure your loved ones know that you love them because you never know what could happen in an instant...
> 
> ***
> 
> There is some relationship abuse in this chapter so if it is triggering for you please do not read it. I apologize for how bad this seems but i promise you it will not be so abusive for too long.

After the latest incident that happened two days ago (the one where Harry had some very extreme rough sex with his boyfriend), left Harry mentally, physically, and emotionally tired. With what happened that night brought a whole day of Louis taking care of him. Whether it was making him tea, icing his face, or simply just massaging his muscles; either way Harry was getting more and more content with Louis ministrations that he could actually let his guard down. The way Harry saw it was that if he kept an eye on Louis all day, then there would be no time for Louis to drink and in turn, no “punching bag Harry time” later. Louis’ day of taking care of Harry really did help him too because the swelling in his face went down tremendously, so it was normal enough to be covered for their interview tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow morning, however, will most likely bring more pain to Harry due to the fact that the radio show that they will be interviewed at is run by the one and only Nicholas Grimshaw. You see, Nick and Harry have been friends for a while now, but when Harry first introduced him to Louis; all hell broke loose in the Tomlinson-Styles household. Saying that Louis does not like Nick at all is a massive understatement; if Louis could have his way he would probably tie Nick to some train tracks and run him over with a train himself like those old cartoons. Louis told Harry that day to never talk to Nick again unless he absolutely had to because Nick might “try to rape him because he has a tempting little body and he wouldn’t be strong enough to hold Nick back”; and when Harry tried to tell him that Nick would never do such a thing he was cut off by Louis’ blind rage. (By blind rage Harry means that Louis “had to show Harry who he belongs to” and “how no one can love him like Louis can” with a few rounds of rather forceful sex).

Fast forward to right now, Nick has just asked the boys about something to do with their upcoming Take Me Home tour next year, but if Harry is being completely honest with himself, he is not even relatively paying attention to the interview at all. Not when Louis is sitting right next to him and constantly digging his nails into his thigh under the table every single time Nick utters a word.

Luckily, Liam and Zayn have been on top of all the questions today, making it easy for Harry to keep his mouth shut and just shake his head in agreement to whatever they say. Sadly enough, the peaceful aura of the room was easily broken as soon as Nick had to ask Niall and Harry if they were seeing anyone special. Nick already knew that Harry was “seeing someone special” but of course he had to set him up anyway. Set him up for an impending disaster that nobody will ever know about. Nobody except Harry because he will have to live with the pain inflicted on him from this.

Harry could feel Louis blue eyes piercing into the side of his head while Harry was trying to improvise a response that would make both Nick and Louis happy. So Harry went to play it safe and say that there really was no “special someone” he was talking to; which granted him a loosened grip on his thigh. Still though, Nick was obviously not happy with that response because he just had to kick it up a notch.

“C’mon, the famous Harry Styles must have someone behind closed doors that he gets to ravish,” Nick chided out. But this time Louis cut in as well.

“Yeah Haz,” Louis broke in with his grip tightening into a strangle hold but still speaking with as much smugness in his voice as possible, “tell Nick here who this special someone is.”

“Well, erm, I really don’t, um, have anyone special b-but, erm, I g-guess Cara Delevingne is pretty fit,” Harry spluttered out while looking right at Nick because if he looked at Louis he would see the irritation forming in those blue irises.

Nick seemed satisfied enough though and he finally moved on, taking the spotlight off of Harry (for which he was happy about). The rest of the interview went on without a hitch, every now and then Louis would move his hand up and down Harry’s thigh or give a little pat here and there; but all in all, he really didn’t have to add much else to answer any questions.

The interview was finally over when Nick ended it for the radio listeners by playing of course “Little Things” from the newly released album and set all of the mics to being off air. One by one, the boys said their “goodbyes” and “thank you’s” to Nick, but when it came to be Harry’s turn; Louis had waited back for him and caught the lingering hug Nick gave his boyfriend.

Harry politely smiled back at Nick while muttering out a quick “goodbye mate” and when he turned and saw his boyfriend’s displeased face standing by the door; Harry took a quick gulp and forcibly dragged his feet across the room to Louis.

A strong possessive arm wrapped around him accompanied by a constricting hand clutching at his hipbone led Harry out of the room and into an empty narrow hallway. In a flash Harry was spun around and pressed face first into the wall in front of him; every inch of his body covered by Louis own.

“That was not a good display in there Harry,” Louis tutted into Harry’s ear; but before Harry could respond with some form of apology, Louis was speaking yet again, “I can’t wait to get home sweetheart, we’re gonna have so much fun… well at least I am,” and with that Louis roughly pulled him of the wall and dragged him to the exit of the building. Once there, Louis had let go of his hold so that the paparazzi could not take any pictures of them (they had enough meetings with management about things like that and they did not wish to have another).

Getting to the van, Niall and Liam had climbed into the middle row and Zayn climbed into the back, leaving the two available seats in different rows. Since Louis got to the van first, he had of course taken the seat next to Zayn in the back leaving Harry the seat next to Liam with Niall at the other end.

Harry could feel Louis eyes burning into the back of his head for the entire ride back to their flat and he couldn’t shake the nauseating feeling of what was to come for him when he got home. It made him sickly quiet that even Liam took notice and gave him a little tap to get his attention before he got the “are you ok” look that Harry couldn’t even muster up enough energy to answer. Harry just looked back down to his lap until Paul was hauling them out of the van.

Before Harry could even take five steps, Louis was on him and pulling him towards their door; not even stopping to wave their goodbyes to the boys and Harry was dreading every step he took.

***

“What the FUCK was that little stunt you pulled Harry? Hmm,” Louis spat out the second they got through the door.

“W-What?” Harry choked out, shrinking in on himself and stepping back from Louis, but it was to no avail because with every step back Louis took a step forward.

“I saw what you did with Nick you dirty whore. You did not have to hug that piece of shit!” Louis snapped back, emphasizing his anger with a harsh shove to Harry’s chest causing him to lose his balance and stumble onto his back.

“Lou p-please I-,” Harry attempted to get out but was cut off when there was a powerful kick to his stomach causing him to cough and heave.

“I’ve had enough of your fucking excuses bitch,” punctuating with more unrelenting kicks to his stomach and ribs.

Just when Harry thought Louis was done, he got to his knees and tried to crawl away as quickly as he could, but was brutally pushed back down when he got to the fourth step on the staircase.

“Where do you think you’re running off to Harry? I’m not finished playing with you yet,” Louis taunted; yanking Harry’s trousers and pants off his body then proceeding to flip him over and snatching off his shirt as well.

Harry looked up at him with scared and sad green orbs, hoping that Louis would let him go. Maybe just this once.

He was wrong.

Louis just smirked down at him and removed his own trousers and pants, whipping out his semi hard cock and stroking it. The other hand ripping through curls hard enough to forcibly push his head back before bringing it forward to slap his cock against his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Open.” Louis commanded but Harry was in a daze. This could not be happening, not again. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Louis wrenched his head by his hair into the wall; smashing his skull against it. As Harry let out a shriek of pain, it turned into a gag as Louis propelled his cock down his throat.

This went on for what felt like hours, or at least until Harry was getting dizzy and his vision of Louis thrusting into his mouth was starting to fade to black. The tears were already gushing down his face and he was making the most demented gurgling noises every time Louis hit the back of his throat. When he did finally pull out, Harry took tremendous deep breaths in order to regain some sort of control of his body.

When he looked back up again Louis was staring down at him, eyes searing into his own skin with such a fiery rage that Harry was surprised he didn’t combust into flames. But the thing was, Louis still wasn’t done with him and the force of his next words shook Harry to his very core.

“You better get off your fat arse and get to our room you git. Get on the bed and you better not touch yourself either or your arse will be paying for it.” Louis warned.

Harry nodded back and groaned when standing up, feeling the pain of Louis’ kicks wrack his body. When he finally stood all the way up, Louis punched him again, in the same spot as the last one on his face and the twinge of agony hurt like no other.

Harry dashed as fast as he could into the room and got under the duvet while he waited passively for his boyfriend to come back. The only thing that Harry could think about was the fact that this “argument” happened and Louis wasn’t even drunk. Harry let this develop and he did nothing to stop it, but then again, what could he even do to stop it now? Would this be an everyday thing for them now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliffhanger.... I'm gonna upload the next chapter in a few hours....
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -alyssa.x


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis gives Harry his (undeserved) punishment and Harry thinks that it may be time to get some help...

Harry lay shaking under the duvet, waiting for his boyfriend to come in and take him. To take him like he always did when he was angry, which was of course rough to the point where he was literally in tears. But Louis never even cared about little things like tears when he was angry. And that was what pained Harry the most. Not that Louis was putting him in so much pain that he was crying and his body would shake with the force of his sobs and his boyfriend’s powerful thrusts… but that Louis could stare right into his eyes while he was fucking him, and there was no trace of love in his blue irises turned black.

Harry felt like he was going to throw up all of his insides, he could feel it in his gut; which was already sore from the kicks he received just a few minutes prior. He couldn’t handle another hit; and he knows that there is a good chance that he might just pass out during whatever Louis’ got planned for him tonight. But Harry knows it’s worth it. _I mean it has to be right? He’s only doing it because he loves me…_

And of course the fact that he deserves to be hurt. He was acting a bit flirty with Nick during their interview today so of course Louis would get angry about that. He’s just lucky that Louis even puts up with his incessant flirting, because Louis could always just dump his arse to the curb. And that in itself is a scary thought because _what the fuck would I- could I even do without Louis?_

Harry was pulled out of his thoughts at the sound of footsteps quickly making their way up the steps; louder and louder until they took an abrupt stop somewhere in the hallway. Harry could feel his heart rate quicken its pace when he heard a cupboard door open and slam close shortly after. Then the footsteps were coming closer yet again until they were right outside the bedroom door.

Harry closed his eyes tight and held his breath; quickly praying to a God that he doesn’t even believe in when the door was pushed open and closed back again. It only took about 4 seconds for Louis to cross the room, yank the cover from over Harry’s naked body, and spin him onto his stomach.

Harry was still shaking when the first crack of the belt came, right in the middle of his back; causing him to let out a surprised yelp with his back arching inward. Then there were more added to his back, his arse and even his legs and each stinging whip caused another involuntary screech to leave his throat.

After a few more strikes, Louis got tired of watching his boyfriend flail. If he was a good boyfriend, he would sit there and take it without any movement at all. So Louis dropped his belt to the floor and picked up a piece of black rope and began tying Harry’s ankles together; immediately putting an end to all his involuntary kicking before picking up a pair of handcuffs he bought at the adult shop. These handcuffs were not like the fuzzy ones a couple would normally get to have a little fun, Louis got real metal handcuffs that would dig into Harry’s wrists every time he would try to wriggle away because he wanted Harry to feel the pain. Harry deserved the pain.

Louis brought both of his boyfriend’s hands behind his back, not hesitating to cuff his wrists together and making sure they were tight enough that Harry could only spin his wrists within the binds.

Harry through this whole ordeal was submitting himself bit by bit. As soon as he felt the rope around his ankles, he knew it was going to be one of those nights. One of those nights where he would be pounded so hard he wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning. He was to busy dreading what he was about to be forced into that he was taken by surprise when the older boy let out a gruff “Open that slutty little mouth of yours” (which he quickly obeyed) before a black ball gag was tied around his head keeping his mouth open so wide that he could not even bring his throat muscles to swallow around it.

Louis pushed the younger boy onto his side so that he was facing him, and Louis heart did a little flutter of excitement at seeing his skinny and frail little boyfriend bound and gagged in the middle of the bed. His body was shaking, tears forming in his eyes as he looked back up at him. His eyes showed so many emotions but the ones that popped out were fear and dejection, and Louis almost felt bad for getting a thrill out of this… almost.

Louis finally stripped himself of his shirt, throwing it to an obscure corner of the room before grabbing Harry’s legs and tugging him to the edge of the bed and encouraging him to stand up on wobbly legs.

Louis sat down and opened his legs wide, guiding his little boyfriend to hop into the space between. Looking up into his eyes, Louis began to stroke his cock; watching closely as his boyfriend tried to resist the urge to look down but couldn’t; his eyes flickering to the motion of his hand on his hard length twice before Louis said a word.

“Harold,” Louis started in his sweetest tone… almost too sweet, “I want you to turn around so I can get a look at your scrawny little arse, and then sit yourself down on my cock and ride me until I say you can stop.”

At this Harry immediately looked up into his boyfriend’s eyes, his entire body draining of all color when he saw how serious his dark blue glare was. He took a deep breath and let out a sigh around the gag, having given up on trying to swallow his spit so now he was just drooling.

Harry quickly jumped around until his back was facing his boyfriend and began to sit down slowly so that he wouldn’t lose his balance and fall backwards to enrage Louis anymore. He was not shocked when he felt a strong hand at his hip tugging him down until he felt the head of Louis cock nudging at his hole causing him to let out a little squeak of surprise.

Harry was breathing hard now trying to brace himself for the pain that is sure to come when he sits down on his boyfriend’s length. Holding his breath for what felt like the millionth time today, he felt the dry slide of Louis cock one more time before the head caught on the rim of his tight hole; and Louis began pulling him down.

All the breath rushed out of him as soon as his dry hole stretched around the head; he was blinking rapidly trying to contain his tears this time, the burn starting to feel familiar as he slid down the shaft.

Louis now grabbing ahold of Harry’s hip with his other hand pulled his boyfriend down until he was fully seated at the base. Counting to ten in his head Louis let go of the younger’s hips, lent forward into his ear and said one simple commanding word…

“Bounce.”

Harry rode his boyfriend for what felt like hours, or until his legs were sore and his thighs were quivering. His throat was raw from the initial muffled screaming around the ball gag so eventually his voice gave out; the only sounds leaving his body were the occasional breath hitches when he rotated his hips just so, so that on the downslide Louis cock would nudge that special spot inside of him.

His cock was now fully hard and a sharp pain ran through him every time he went down and his poor neglected cock would slap against his taut stomach. Harry tried his hardest to make his boyfriend cum because in all reality he just wanted this to end. This punishment was enough no matter how much he deserved it. And when one of Louis hands grabbed his hip while the other pushed him down until his face was smashed against the carpeted floor; all Harry could do was take the pain shooting through his body with deep breaths and silent tears.

After a while of relentless pounding, Harry felt a shudder go through the body above him, followed by a change in the rhythm and then there was newfound warmth gushing through his insides and he let out a deep sigh. Finally over.

Louis pulled out roughly and just studied the flaming red arse he was just pummeling not too long ago. His boyfriend’s hole was gaping wide open, the stretched rim quivering just slightly as cum started to ooze out. It was absolutely filthy watching the opaque liquid trickle down creamy thin thighs.

He quickly snapped out of the trance with a smack to Harry’s arse that was forceful enough to make him lose his balance; causing him to fall to the ground to face the man towering over him.

“You actually look good like this Haz. You know when you’re absolutely fucked up beyond all recognition. I mean I should know, this in the only time you actually ever look decent,” Louis spoke conversationally as he took a pause to nudge at Harry’s still erect cock with his toes. “I think it’s because you’re being your natural self; who is nothing more than a filthy street whore.”

Harry cowered at the stinging words. He closed his eyes and tried to mentally wean the tears away. He refused to cry again, even if the love of his life was saying the most hurtful things. He knew he deserved them; because sometimes that was how he saw himself.

Louis looked down at the shivering boy; finally deciding to stop his torture for the night. Louis bent down and untied the restraints; starting from the rope at his ankles, then unlocking the handcuffs, and up to gently remove the ball gag from his still drooling mouth.

Harry immediately tried to sit up by using weak arms and it took a few tries to get his strength up for him to sit on his sore bum. They both sat for a while in silence; Louis watching Harry’s tentative movements and breaths while Harry was inspecting all his marred skin from the ropes and the handcuffs.

Louis heart began to fill with fondness and love and guilt for the younger boy after what he had just done. The cycle was coming to an end, the same one that happens after every time Louis forces his Harry into rough sex; he gets apologetic and just wants to shower Harry with kisses and warm touches and promises that this will never happen again.

So he does. 

He lifts up a skinny little Harry and places him into his arms, heart sinking slightly when he feels the boy try to wince away (but it gets better when Harry gets comfortable enough to rest his curly little head against his tan chest), and Louis whispers his apologies and kind words until the shaking stops and the heavy breathing returns to normal.

He lifts little Harry into bed, tucking him into the duvet with a kiss to his warm cheek; pulling back to look into sad, exhausted eyes before walking to the door to flick the light off. Louis climbs into the bed and under the duvet as well, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend’s skinny waist and pulling him back into his own body.

Harry feels light kisses against the back of his neck and he sighs contentedly. He begins to blink dreamily; ready to drop off but refusing to go to sleep just yet. It’s when he feels the grip around his waist loosen about an hour later is when he makes his move.

Slowly, he removes Louis arm from around his waist and gets out of bed. Limping to the wardrobe and quickly slipping into some clothes. He chooses to throw on some pants for once (because Harry usually never wears them) before slipping into some gray sweats that are most likely Louis’ but he doesn’t care to go into figuring it out. He’s way too tired for thinking too hard at the moment (anything like that will spur on an intense headache). He finally shrugs on one of his ratty old navy hoody that he can never bring himself to throw out along with his favorite gray beanie.

Walking into the bathroom, Harry does not even flinch when he sees the bruise on the side of his face. All he needed to do was inspect it for what he was about to do; hopefully the place where he’s going won’t give him too much flack about looking like he just got out of a boxing match with a bear.

Splashing cold water on his face to get rid of the tear tracks; he looks back up at his face and makes a decision. It is definitely time to tell someone. I can’t just keep living like this.

Turning around and switching off the bathroom light, he walks back into the bedroom and watches the sleeping form in the middle of the bed. In a last thought he walks over, giving a light peck to a high cheekbone before turning on his heel and walking out of the room.

Walking through the hallway and down a flight of steps he gets to the foyer; grabbing his IPhone and looking at the screen that reads 1:24am. He slips into his trainers and makes his way out of the flat, walking into the frigid early morning air.

He keeps walking along the row of flats until he stops at a very familiar door. Swallowing his pride he knocks five times (The first two to get the occupant’s attention and the last three to make sure he was heard). Harry hears slight shuffling from behind the other side of the door before he heard a quick and familiar “Who’s there” and he announces his name through the wood of the door.

At that, it swung open and he was met with a surprised gasp that he knew was sure to come when his face was seen by someone who had no clue what he was going through at home. Harry let a weak smile cross his features before he let out a broken, “Hey Li, do you think I can maybe crash here tonight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think yeah?
> 
> heres my [tumblr](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -alyssa.x


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has a nightmare and takes refuge with Liam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> harry's nightmare is in italics and it is violent and graphic so be aware that this is a nightmare!

Liam Payne could only stare in shock at his skinny band mate standing before him. Hair a tousled mess (as usual), dressed in the normal lazy day attire, but he could not escape the fact that there was a newly formed bruise on the side of an always flawless face. There was a weak smile embedded in those features. Liam could see it now, the masked pain written in the depths of the younger boy’s skin. A type of pain that most definitely had to have been bottled up for a long while; a type of pain that needs to be let out before the person carrying said burden does something tragic.

Wordlessly, Liam gathered the boy in his arms; the both of them standing in the open doorway before rational thought maneuvered its way to the forefront of Liam’s mind.

Taking a small step back, Liam pulled Harry into his flat; closing and locking the door behind them. He led the younger boy deeper into the flat (the crème colored walls littered with pictures of family and friends, including some of the band’s best moments and cards by the fans) until they made their way into the kitchen where Liam began to make tea.

Sitting in the kitchen, Harry’s mind was racing a million miles a minute. He is beginning to regret the reason he came to Liam’s flat tonight. _Could I really tell another soul about the things I deal with at home with Louis? I mean I really should, and Liam is the most trustworthy and rational person I could come to. But what if Louis finds out?_

Liam was staring at the boy sitting in his kitchen; waiting for him to look up so he can finally approach him with questions that he needs answered for his own sake. When he finally did look up his entire mind went blank. Harry just looked so broken and exhausted that Liam could not even dare bombard the boy with questions…. at least for the night. However tomorrow morning would be a whole different story.

“Harry mate, you look like you just got out of a mugging and as of right now; you look entirely too exhausted to hold a serious conversation,” Liam stated as he set down two mugs of tea on the kitchen table. Then taking the seat across from his band mate, “So when you wake up tomorrow the first thing you are going to have to do is tell me what the actual fuck happened to you tonight do you understand me,” Liam’s protective spirit for the other boy finally reflecting towards the end of his mini speech.

Harry, staring at the older lad in front of him simply lifted the mug of tea to his lips and took a long sip; relishing in the burn of the heat filtering down his throat, his eyes never leaving Liam’s. Harry eventually responded with a nod of his head along with a curt, “Thanks Li, for everything,” before the two pop stars sat in a comfortable silence for the remainder of their tea.

When they both finished their cups, Liam stashed the dirty mugs into the sink; then led Harry out of the kitchen, down the hall and into the spare bedroom. Once there, Liam turned around and swamped the younger into the third overbearing hug of Harry’s night; leaving a peck in the mess of chestnut curls before Harry was finally alone.

Harry could now let his exhaustion sweep over him, he could finally let his guard down knowing subconsciously that he was in a safe environment away from his boyfriend who was probably still sound asleep in their own shared flat.

Harry stripped off his navy sweatshirt, deciding to go to bed topless and just leave his sweatpants on knowing that he was not in his own home. Even though Liam had already seen him naked plenty of times… that was before Louis and Harry were, well _LouisandHarry_ , and only God knows what Louis would do to him if he found out that Harry was naked in front of anyone that wasn’t him.

The curly headed boy slipped into the inviting caress of the bed when the first drops of rain began outside of his window. His mind that was once racing with the thoughts of how he was going to explain the topic of his rather intense relationship to Liam in the morning transformed into his gentle happy place that was filled with a sweet Louis, his sweet Louis, before all the beatings, extremely harsh words and forced angry sex. The rain that had begun to pour pelted at the windows of the bedroom, lulling the fragile 18 year old into a peaceful sleep.

***

_“You filthy little slut, get the fuck over here,” Louis screamed as he chased Harry through their flat._

_This just encouraged Harry to run faster, quickly turning a corner and dashing up the steps, his long legs taking two at a time. Harry got into the bedroom closing the door and locking it hastily before there was a loud thump coming from the other side._

_"Oh Harry, I’m gonna beat the fucking shit outta you when I get to the other side of this fucking door,” Louis raged still pounding against the door._

_The bedroom door was starting to cave in under Louis force and Harry took a few steps back. It took only three linebacker type run throughs with the door for Louis to break it down and he immediately spotted his boyfriend trying to make a quick dash for the bathroom._

_Sadly, Harry could not make it to the bathroom in time and Louis forced himself inside with him; Louis grabbing him by the throat while the other hand was throwing punch after punch on the younger boy’s face._

_Harry attempted to get out of his raging boyfriend’s hold but to no avail when the punches got progressively worse._

_Louis then threw the younger boy to the other end of the bathroom floor and swiftly turned the lock on the now shut bathroom door; shutting away Harry’s only form of escape. Louis walked over to the tub; turning on the cold water and stopping the drain from letting the water out. When Louis was satisfied with the water level he turned off the faucet and looked at his scared boyfriend that had already been silently watching his every move._

_Smirking Louis stands up and strolls over to his cowering boyfriend. Dropping down again to whisper into his ear a, “Oh boy you’ve really done it to yourself now,” immediately grabbing Harry by the throat and dragging him to the tub._

_A deep grunt and a small choke was heard as Harry was lifted by his head and slammed face first into the tub full of cold water. He began thrashing about and Louis kept his force on his throat, effectively cutting of the air circulation he couldn’t get from being under water as well. The flailing of limbs was beginning to slow and the water was starting to flood into his lungs; the suffocating feeling plaguing his senses._

Harry woke up with a start; sitting straight up in bed, tears dripping down his face and sweat covering his whole body along with the deep breaths he was taking because after that nightmare there was honestly not enough air in the universe.

Harry took a few calming breaths and got out of bed. He couldn’t sleep like this; it is way too lonely in a flat that is not even his own without warm loving hands surrounding him.

Harry swiftly left the room for the bathroom down the hall; wiping his face with a moist towel because dousing his face with cold water would not be a safe choice at the moment, and also cleaning the sweat off the rest of his heated body. Once finished, he left the room and instead of going back to his own room, he made a beeline for Liam’s because he would not be able to go back to sleep alone, it just wasn’t possible.

Venturing into the dark room; Harry made his way over to the bed based on memory and when his knees hit the edge of the bed he felt down to make sure Liam was not sleeping peacefully on that side. Figuring out that he was not; Harry climbed into bed and under the covers sliding over until he was pressed against Liam’s body.

Liam opened his eyes with a stir, a frown crossing his features. “Harry?” he whispered into the darkness.

“Yeah sorry Li, I had a nightmare and I couldn’t sleep alone, but its ok now go back to sleep,” Harry responded quickly.

Arms wrapped around Harry’s lanky form under the covers and there were two contended sighs before Liam whispered, “You’re safe now” into the top of a curly mass; effectively pulling a shivering body into his strong chest.

Minutes later they were both drifting back to sleep thinking about what waking up will soon bring to the both of them.

***

White light was streaming into the bedroom where Liam was peacefully sleeping and Harry was coming into consciousness.

Blinking, Harry was adjusting to the brightness as well as waking up in an unfamiliar room while accompanied by someone who wasn’t Louis. Watching Liam’s calm face brought back all the memories from the hours before sleep and Harry’s stomach was starting to form knots.

Harry was here for two reasons. The first was that he could not stay in the same house as the boy who beat him as well as forced him into sex. And the second reason was that he needed to tell someone about reason one and then some.

Harry made to roll away from Liam when the arms that were wrapped around him tightened their hold and Harry was sent spinning back into a broad muscled chest with a small “mmphf.”

At that, Liam’s eyes slowly opened up, revealing beautiful brown puppy dog eyes that make fans all over the world swoon. Soon those eyes were staring down into worried greens that were peaking up through dark lashes.

“Mornin’ Harry. Whaddaya say we get some food before you tell me what’s been goin’ on yeah?” Liam spoke in his deep early morning voice earning a sigh of relief from the younger boy.

See it’s not that Harry didn’t want to tell someone what was happening in his personal life, he just didn’t want it to be blown way out of proportion because of the worried minds of people like Liam. Harry knows Louis does the things he does out of pure love but Harry just needed a break, and waking up in a different flat being taken care of by a best friend is something refreshing for his body all by itself.

With a nod from Harry, they both got out of bed (not even caring to make it up like Liam usually would) and made their way downstairs and into the kitchen.

Soon the boys had a system going; Harry was making some simple pancakes with a side of eggs while Liam was just getting all the plates and utensils out. Once he was done, he turned the kettle on and made both himself and Harry some piping hot mugs of tea.

Breakfast itself was mostly quiet; Harry was focusing on his food and not eating too fast while Liam was trying to mentally prepare himself for whatever he was about to be told. After breakfast, Liam cleared all the dirty dishes into the sink and both boys made their way into the living room; Harry nervous and scared while Liam was ready to comfort.

Sitting on opposite ends of the couch, Liam couldn’t take waiting any longer and starts off their discussion with a simple, “Now tell me what the hell happened to your face?”

As simple as the question was to Liam, the answer was not going to be simple for Harry; but he refused to go back on his promise to himself, he was not going to lie to a person as spectacular as Liam and was going to have to trust that Liam can keep a secret.

Taking a deep breath, Harry stares deep into the brown eyes in front of him and makes his confession, “Well Li, the reason I have this ugly arse bruise is because last night Louis hit me. Hard. And he has been hitting me for a while now.” Harry took a brief pause, gaging Liam’s reaction but only seeing a subtle change in the emotion his eyes portray. So Harry continued on, looking away from Liam in his next bit, “After he hit me he made me have sex with him, which of course would have been fine if he wasn’t so rough but then again we never really have our vanilla sex anymore so I guess I should be used to it by now.”

Harry was starting to get choked up, he knew he needed to get everything off of his chest so he had to soldier through this, “He only started doing this to me when he was drunk Li, but lately, I’ve been getting so exhausted with it and yesterday he wasn’t even drunk when he did this to me.” Fighting back tears he continued, “I just knew I couldn’t wake up to that Li, he was just so awful to me last night, and I was just so tired but I just couldn’t bring myself to stay there Li. I can’t. I’m just- I’m just so fucking scared.” Harry was working himself up into a frenzy now and the tears were just raining down. “A-and I’m so fu-fucking sorry I’m a fuck up and made you get out of bed so early while you w-were sleeping but I-I just-“

And Liam cut him off by grabbing the smaller boy and settling him down in his lap and just letting him cry. Letting him drain all the tears in his fragile body while Liam pet at his hair and whispered small “shh’s” and “it’s ok Harry, it’s fine I got you now” and also the occasional “your safe here” until the weary, curly headed boy eventually went limp and passed out right in his arms.

Liam felt like such a dumbass now, like honestly, how could he not see that there was obviously a problem between the normally happy couple; the pain was practically leaking out of Harry’s pores. And it was in that moment, looking into Harry’s bruised but calm face that Liam knew he needed to do something, anything to stop his young friend from getting hurt anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed reading, theres still plenty more to come!
> 
> visit me on tumblr @ [soulfatelarry](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -alyssa.x


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys ! Just letting you know that the next update will be a bit late because I'm going to the beach this weekend. I wont be able to update again until at least Tuesday so I hope you enjoy this! x
> 
> ************
> 
>  
> 
> this is a bit of a filler chapter...

It was a short time later that Harry had woken up again. He was lying alone on his back on Liam Payne’s couch, in Liam Payne’s living room, in Liam Payne’s flat. And not resting on his couch, in his living room, in his flat. He tilted his head toward the television, looking lower to check the time on the cable box.

He almost fell off the couch in his haste to get up because when the fuck did it get to be half eleven? Louis is sure to be up by now and Louis is sure to be pretty heated that Harry is not at all in the flat. Harry ran quickly to get his navy sweatshirt on and stuff his sweatpants pocket with his phone that already had 11 missed calls, 8 voicemails, and 23 text messages; all from Louis of course.

He dashed back to the foyer slipping on his shoes, his mind repeating only one thought and that was _fuck I’m so screwed fuck fuck fuckity fuck_ , that he did not even hear the soft pads of feet moving closer to him. Harry was pulled out of his rush by Liam Payne with a look on his face that could only be expressed as, _where the fuck do you think you’re going?_

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Liam asked in a rush, keeping his strong grip on Harry’s shoulders.

Harry slumped, “You know I have to go home Li, the longer I’m here the madder he’ll be.”

“Oh no Harry, you are not goi-,” and Liam was cut off from his reprimanding by three curt knocks on the front door.

Harry sighed again, he was hoping the person on the other side of the door was not who he thought it was. Harry turned to the door to open it, as he was closer to it to begin with. He unlocked the knob and the deadbolt, twisting the knob and pulling it open to reveal a slightly flaming Louis Tomlinson.

When Harry felt Louis’ gaze land on him, he was shocked to see worry and then relief flash through the mystical blue eyes. Harry opened his mouth to quickly explain himself but Louis had already beaten him to it.

Louis launched himself into Harry’s arms, immediately reaching for his curls and nuzzling his face into his neck. “What the hell Haz. You had me worried sick about you! I thought something bad had happened to you when you didn’t respond to me.” Harry couldn’t help to think that the only bad thing to happen to him had been that he had gotten the absolute shit beat out of him by his boyfriend. But of course he wasn’t going to say that.

“I’m so sorry Lou! I had woken up earlier than you but I couldn’t bear to wake you up, you literally looked like an angel.” _With the wrath of the devil._ “So I just got to texting Li and decided to come on by. I had meant to text you when I got here but it must have slipped my mind when I left my phone in a different room. I’m sorry I worried you love.” Harry was surprised that the lie could roll past his lips as easily as it did, but maybe it was because he knew that if he didn’t he could quite possibly be in trouble. And he was not a fan of being in trouble with Louis.

Louis pulled back and left a long but weirdly gentle kiss to his lips before he pulled fully away. “Ok. Well come home, I want to spend the day with you Haz,” Louis chimed with a smile, leaning back in for a quick peck. He turned around with a soft, “c’mon,” before walking out the door and down the corridor to their shared flat.

Harry let out a soft sigh and turned back around to Liam who looked a mix of confused and ready to pull Harry back into his flat and keep him hidden away forever.

“No Li, I have to go home. But don’t worry it’ll be fine,” and with that Harry was walking out the door. Harry didn’t know if he was saying those last words to comfort Liam or himself, but he sure hoped they were true.

***

By the time Harry had walked into the flat, Louis was sitting in the living room watching a football game on their flat screen. When Harry walked into the room, Louis looked at him with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, but he motioned for Harry to sit with him nonetheless.

Of course Harry easily complied and once he was comfortable next to his boyfriend, there was a small weight on his shoulder and feathery wisps tickling at his jawline. They both sat in silence staring at the television. Harry trying not to let his body go rigid, and Louis’ mind racing; neither one of them focusing on the game being played in front of them.

“Did you have fun?” Louis voice was just above a whisper.

“What?” Harry spoke, equally as low.

“Did you have fun at Liam’s this morning?” Louis asked again quietly.

“Yeah, I just wanted to go by and see what he was up too,” Harry responded slowly, “even though we are about to go on tour again I still felt like we hadn’t really talked in a while.”

“Yeah I get it.”

Harry looked down at Louis, the shorter boy looking at the screen as if he was in a trance but it was quite obvious that he was in some deep thought process that not even Harry could decipher.

He quickly thought of something that would get his boyfriend out of his little phase. God only knows what was going on through that complicated little head of his.

“I’m gonna go make a cuppa. Would you like me to make you one Lou?” Harry asked, tugging at Louis until he started to sit up before standing up himself.

“Yeah. Thanks,” Louis replied sitting up straight and watching Harry’s back as he left the room.

“Ok babe,” Harry called back.

Harry sauntered into the kitchen, grabbing the kettle and filling it with water before putting it over the stovetop to boil. He slid along the counter until he was in front of the window, watching some of the drops from last night’s storm roll down the window pane. His thoughts now traveling through everything that has happened in the past 24 hours and _holy fuck balls someone else knows my best kept secret._

_Liam Payne knows my best kept secret and if Louis finds out, well I don’t want him to find out. And also what the fuck is up with Louis, he’s being very... mysterious. He’s never been like this and what the fuck am I supposed to do with that. I don’t want him to get mad at me for leaving and what if he finds out that I lied to his face about leaving in the morning instead of in the middle of the night. Damnit Styles you really dug yourself in deep this time didn’t you?_

Harry’s thoughts were swimming and as he delved deeper, his breathing was becoming heavier. He was working himself into a fit and he didn’t even realize it. That was until there were two strong arms wrapping around his waist and a forehead pressed between his tense shoulder blades. Harry let out a surprised gasp at the contact which received a kiss to his back in reply.

“I’m sorry Hazza,” Louis started in a low murmur against the material covering his torso, “I’m so sorry I hurt you, and that I keep hurting you. Could you please forgive me? I love you so much and you know that and I don’t know what I would even do if I ever lost you Haz. You mean so much to me.”

Harry slowly turned around in the circle of Louis’ arms and realized that there were tears rolling down a normally beautiful tan face. The hurt in his eyes was clear and Harry would be damned if he didn’t forgive him.

Wrapping the smaller boy into his chest, Harry whispered nonsense into feathery hair until the boy in his arms had stopped crying. When his breathing had evened out, Harry pulled back to look into watery blue eyes before reassuring him with, “I love you so much Lou. Of course I forgive you and I never want to lose you either.”

They both pulled each other into a tight embrace, both boys enjoying the feeling of one another and allowing a sensory overload. They were both eventually extracted from bliss at the sound of the kettle whistling and as they savored their tea, they also appreciated the simple feeling of each other’s company.

***

The rest of the day had gone on smoothly and without incident for the both of them. Harry had begun to loosen up around his boyfriend after the apology and Louis was going to take whatever he could get.

There were tickle fights that turned into matches of who-can-pin-the-other-down which then kept turning into sloppy kisses because of course Louis would always win and end up leaning down to snog the younger boy. At one point Harry had put his hands on the blue eyed boy’s hips and they began grinding into each other.

Harry didn’t know how far they were going to go but he knew he wasn’t ready to take Louis again, even if he went slowly which he almost always never did anymore. The younger boy was relieved when Louis made no move to remove their clothing; instead they just enjoyed the pleasure of grinding against each other. And when they both came in their pants, which was practically at the same time, Harry couldn't contain his mega-watt smile and deep dimples even when his cheeks began to hurt.

After they took a long shower together with no funny business but a few gentle kisses and helped wash each other’s bodies and hair, Harry took up his place in the kitchen and made a lovely chicken pasta dish dinner for two.

Louis had always admired his boyfriend’s cooking skills and throughout their dinner he did not hold back from telling him how “fucking perfect” the food was, making Harry blush a more happy shade of red around him that he hadn’t done in a while.  


After dinner, they both helped each other with washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen for once, which they hadn’t done together in months.

When they both curled into bed that night, sharing lazy kisses with the slight moonlight from the window casting a soft glow in the room, all Harry could think about was how this might have just been one of the greatest days with Louis he has had in a long while.

But of course his thoughts were tarnished when Louis had admitted the thoughts that were plaguing him all day.

“Harry,” Louis whispered as he pulled away from a kiss.

“Hmm?” Harry hummed back, eyes closed with a lazy smile on his face.

“Why did you lie to me? Like earlier today, at Liam’s?”

Harry’s green’s opened in shock. Had he really caught his lie from this morning? But how? _Fuck my life._ Instantly deciding that it would be better to apologize now, Harry put on his best kitten face (because Louis used to always tell him he was as cute and cuddly and playful as a baby kitten) and snuggled closer to his boyfriend.

“I’m sorry Lou bear! I really didn’t mean any harm with lying to you I swear,” he whimpered out.

Louis let out a sigh. “I know Kitten. It’s fine, I forgive you. Just don’t lie to me; I can see it in your eyes when you lie to me.” He paused to pull the younger boy closer. “I knew you left in the middle of the night because I woke up in the middle of the storm. And you weren’t here with me,” his voice descending into a whisper at the end.

“Baby I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have left you here. But I’m here now so let’s make up for lost time?” Harry begged and quickly changed the subject. If he could stop Louis from being mad at him then maybe he won’t get a harsh punishment next time.

In reply, Louis just turned around so that his back was facing Harry. Harry shuffled until he was the big spoon to his little spoon; long arms around waist, back against chest, arse against crotch.

They lay like that for a while. It could have been minutes or hours, Harry couldn’t keep count but before he let himself drift to sleep he whispered a, “goodnight Lou, I love you so much,” against the back of Louis neck.

The exhaustion of overthinking was getting to Harry but all he could do is hope and pray that the brilliance of this day would continue forever…

Oh how naive the boy was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked it anyway. let me know what you think so far!
> 
> come visit me on tumblr @ [soulfatelarry](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -alyssa.x


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when things were headed in the right direction....
> 
> This episode can be triggering so please proceed with caution!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update!
> 
> ...... and sorry for what happens

Harry could feel the bass thumping through him. Pounding in his chest and coursing through his veins but the beat never stopped, simply going to the ends of his fingers and toes only to thump through him all over again.

He loved the feeling; some could say he was addicted to it. Whenever he was clubbing in a swarm of sweaty dancing bodies he couldn’t help but to let the music take control of him. He couldn’t help but blend with the people dancing around him. He would lose himself only to become a simple gear in the machine.

It was all Niall’s idea really; he was the one that wanted to go out and get smashed in celebration for the Take Me Home tour that’s starting next week. And of course Zayn and Louis were quick to jump on the bandwagon of Niall’s ideas. Liam was a little reluctant when he looked at Harry and saw his expression. Harry could only imagine how scared he looked but he couldn’t let the others know; only Liam can know. So Harry schooled his expression into a megawatt smile and agreed to go when he saw the adorable crinkles by his boyfriend’s eyes.

***

Fast forward about three hours and now we have Zayn, Liam, and Louis sitting in a semi secluded booth with various alcoholic beverages scattered about; and Niall and Harry dancing together in the middle of a mob. Harry told himself he wouldn’t drink tonight on his way over, but Niall and even Louis both begged. How could he not indulge?

And then Niall dragged Harry out onto the dance floor, leaving a drunk and slightly unstable Louis with Liam and Zayn. To a random passerby, Louis might look like he’s fine. But only Harry knows the truth, and its killing him to watch his boyfriend dance with Niall right now.

As the beat changes into something a little slower; a little more vulgar, Niall turns around in a flash and then they’re grinding. And fuck this is not supposed to happen. Harry looks around the room and sees how everyone else is in the same predicament as Niall and himself. Some girls are grinding guys against the far back wall of the club and that is just a little bit too suggestive for his taste.

Niall is a fantastic dancer if Harry does say so himself, he always does this hitch with his hips when he’s dancing on stage and here in the club is no different. He presses his arse against Harry’s crotch a little harder after every few beats and with it he always makes sure to do a little wiggle. And if this blonde little minx doesn’t stop soon he’s going to be rubbing against something a little more solid.

He has no idea when his hands started to grip at Niall’s hips; and he has no idea when he started pulling him into his own body either. But Harry will have to blame it on the alcohol because there is no way that if he was in his right mind that he would be allowing this to happen. Especially not with Louis sitting ove- _FUCK LOUIS’ HERE._

Harry immediately whirls Niall around in his arms and tells him that, “I’m done dancing tonight,” and he doesn’t even have time to make a response because Harry’s already spun on his heels to make his way back to the booth.

Louis’ eyes are already on Harry’s as he approaches and it’s almost as if he’s walking to his death. It’s just sad that what Louis and Harry have worked for just got completely destroyed because of the few minutes Harry had spent dancing with Niall. _But then again whatever Louis has for me I definitely deserve it._

Louis stands up and grabs ahold of his boyfriend’s arm to stop him from sitting down. His eyes are dark and Harry knows he’s angry with him. If the tightening grip on his arm, the squinted eyes trained on him as well as the thin lips that are pulled into a tight line are anything to go by.

Without even sparing a glance to Liam and Zayn he announces that, “Harry and I are going home.” And all Harry can do is give Liam one last look that tells him ‘I’m gonna be fine’; even though Liam only looks scared for him which does not help settle the nausea bubbling in his stomach.

Harry’s pulled through the crowd and out the front door of the club with a grip on his bicep that is sure to leave prints in a few hours. Louis hails down a cab and throws the younger boy inside like a ragdoll before jumping in himself. Harry only tenses when Louis’ hand grips his thigh and squeezes, telling him that he’s not letting go anytime soon. After Louis tells the driver the address he sits back in his seat and looks straight ahead, not talking or giving the younger a clue of what he’s thinking. He’s completely guarded and right here in the cab is what Harry knows is best to be called the calm before the storm.

***

After an eerily quiet cab ride, the boys finally make it to the flat without causing a scene. (But what scene can they cause it’s like 1 in the morning and there is literally no one outside). And even on the way up the steps, Louis still doesn’t say a word.

That is, until they get inside.

As soon as they are both through the door Louis grabs Harry by the curls and throws him head first to the ground. Harry was only able to register a high pitched scream as his head made contact. That scream was his.

“Shut the fuck up!” Louis yelled as he dove on top of his defenseless boyfriend, using one of his small hands to wrap around his throat while the other slaps over his mouth. “I saw that little stunt you pulled out there with Niall,” he spat, “I don’t understand why you find it your life’s goal to be a slut. Wanna tell me why?”

And by this time Harry’s lost his ability to even breathe let alone speak because Louis is not letting up. Furious blue eyes are piercing into green as he looms over the younger and even though it’s blatantly obvious that he’s pissed Harry can still see a flash of hurt in them. Harry hates seeing his boyfriend hurt, even though on more occasions than not he is the one getting hurt. _But he loves me so much he doesn’t mean it, I know he doesn’t._

Harry didn’t realize he had started crying until Louis moved his hands from his mouth and throat to the sides of his face, gently wiping them away with his thumbs.

“I don’t know why you’re crying right now. I think you should save those tears for when you get your punishment you worthless whore.”

With that, Louis’ drags him by the neck to his feet, takes his curls in hand and hauls his boyfriend to the bedroom.

“Get your kit off then get on the bed. Hands and knees only,” Louis commanded as he walked over to the closet.

Harry doesn’t think he’s ever moved so fast in his life, he was bare skinned and on his hands and knees on top of the bed before Louis even turned around. Harry’s head was still throbbing from where it hit the ground, his scalp was itching from where his curls were pulled and his throat was burning from where Louis’ hand had been constricting around his neck. But Harry knows he deserved it, he knows he did because he knows how to act in public. _Louis is my boyfriend and he doesn’t deserve the shit I put him through. I better stop fucking up before he leaves me for good and how am I supposed to live without Louis. He’s the only person who will ever love me._

Lost in thought Harry didn’t notice when Louis came back, positioning himself behind his awaiting body where Harry couldn’t see. Harry wasn’t ready when the first hit came. Landing on his right arse cheek and causing a deafening smack throughout the bedroom. Harry’s entire body flinched forward with the force of it. But it wasn’t a paddle that he was hit with, it was a leather belt.

Then came the burn of the sting to his arse and he let out a screech that could probably give a dying whale a run for their money. Then there was another one on Harry’s left cheek to match the one on his right.

The next few minutes were just pain for the younger boy. Smack after smack landed on his arse, and sometimes Louis missed his target and hit Harry on his lower back and upper thighs. But Harry knows this is justified, this was the punishment for his actions. This was the punishment for being such a terrible boyfriend.

The whips kept raining down on Harry until his screams cut out, arms giving out as well causing him to get a face full of the duvet. His body had had enough and even though the pain was awful, all he could think about was how he brought it upon himself.

Louis leaned over his quivering, beat red boyfriend and Harry only knew it when he felt the heat of Louis’ bare skin against his stinking arse and back.

“I’m gonna show you why you should never whore around. Is that the kind of display you pull behind my back?” All Harry could do was whimper in reply. “Well if you want to act like a slut, how about I make you scream like one.”

At that punctuation, he lines the head of his cock with Harry’s tight, unprepared arsehole; pushing the blunt head of it through the resistance and causing a piercing cry to rip from his throat. Even though Harry is used to him doing this, it still hurts every time he shoves his dick in. There is always the sharp pain of the stretch; Louis’ so long and thick that whenever he does this Harry feels absolutely trapped on his cock, like his body is physically paralyzed and he has no choice but to take what is given.

Louis doesn’t wait for Harry to adjust to the intrusion, as per usual, just sets up a grueling pace with a stamina that his strong thighs and the rest of his fit athletic body can support. One good thing about this is that Harry has found his voice again; even though it’s rough and sounds increasingly fucked out with every thrust. But every time Louis’ hips hit Harry’s arse, there’s another sharp sting sent through his body from being whipped with the belt.

Louis leans down again; his heavy panting against the shell of the younger boy’s ear causing shivers to run down his spine. “Look at you, fucking gagging for my cock like the filthy slut that you are. I bet you wish it were Niall inside of you right now hmm?” Even though Harry was crying, he still managed to choke out a “no” in response to his question. Because Harry knows that if Louis doesn’t get a response; his punishment will be even worse.

“Then stop fucking acting like a slut, if you’re gonna act like one then you can only do it for me!” Harry’s body was swiftly flipped over and his teary green eyes were staring into raging blues; small hands roaming up and securing their hold once again around Harry’s neck. “Got it?”

“Yes! Yes only a slut for you Lou promise!” Harry tries to scream but it only manages to come out as a mere whisper.

“Good.” The older leans down and nips at the shaking boy’s mouth. Harry lets him do as he pleases to his body as his thrusts slow down. His sweat slicked, heated skin slips against Harry’s with every movement and with the new pace it’s actually becoming more enjoyable.

But then he slips out and stands up from the bed. “Get on your knees and tilt your head up,” the older boy commands.

Harry stiffly gets down to the floor, the pain inflicted on his body searing through him with the movement. Louis grabs hold of the hair at the back of his boyfriend’s head; effectively keeping him in place (even though Harry probably wouldn’t have moved to begin with) as he roughly strokes his cock over his boyfriend’s face.

“Beg for it slut! Go on.”

“P-please Lou.”

“Louder slut, I can’t fucking hear you. And tell me how much you want it”

“Please Lou! I want it! Please give it to me! Paint me with it! I need it Lou please! I want it all over my face and in my mouth Louis! I want to taste all of you and I want it to fill me up so much that I won’t even be hungry for breakfast!” And really Harry doesn’t know where those words came from but he's glad he said it.

With Harry’s pleas Louis was coming hard all over his boyfriend. Coating his cheeks, nose, mouth, chest, and some of it even landing in his hair by the time Louis had finished. He swiped the fingers that had worked his cock across the younger boy’s ruined face; lifted them to his lips and without a word Harry sucked the cum off his boyfriend’s fingers, both boys kept their eyes locked on each other as the older continued to feed the younger.

When Louis finally let go of Harry, he made his way into the bathroom, probably to clean himself up but Harry couldn’t think about that when fresh tears were starting behind his eyelids. He looked down at his lap and let the emotions wash over his body. Harry Styles had never felt so degraded in his entire life. It wasn’t the fact that they had sex, it was the fact that Louis made him beg for something so dirty, something he didn’t even want; and then left him on the floor to cry like he didn’t even matter.

Harry was still hard when Louis had walked out of the room but with all the terrible thoughts running through his mind, his boner was rapidly decreasing in size.

“Harry?” a soft voice came from the bathroom doorway.

The boy still kneeling on the floor immediately looked up at the voice, the change in tone giving him a new feeling that began bubbling in his stomach. But what even was it? Maybe hope?

Louis walked over to his boyfriend and kneeled down in front, bringing up the warm washcloth he had in his hands to clean his face and chest before it would dry on his body. Once he was done he gathered the younger into his lap, Harry straddling him with his arms around his neck as Louis’ arms were wrapped around his waist with one hand rubbing soothing lines into his back.

“I’m so sorry baby. I love you so much,” Louis spoke a gentle whisper in the younger’s ear, “I’m sorry I keep putting you through this but I promise I will stop ok, I will.”

As he spoke his promise into chestnut curls, Harry let silent tears roll down his cheeks. _How many times is he going to apologize to me before he breaks me for good? Is he really going to keep this promise to me even though he’s broken it so many times before? Where are we gonna go from here?_

Harry cried himself to sleep in his boyfriend’s arms at 3 am, exhausted and overworked from the night he had. And as Louis laid his boyfriend to bed, he smiled at the satisfaction he got from knowing that his naïve little Harry will trust him yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think !
> 
> and come visit me on [tumblr](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/)


	8. Chapter 7 ~ Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part one of two parts of this chapter.....  
>  so this is really short for rn

Harry woke up to a knock on his door the following morning (well afternoon because it’s now half one but whatever). It was five short knocks that Harry and the rest of the boys come to know as Liam’s.

Looking over, Harry sees his adorable smaller boyfriend; with feathery golden-brown sleep mussed hair, soft naturally tanned skin, and sharp facial features and Harry really couldn’t be any happier to have him.

You see Harry was now very excited for this day because Louis had promised not to ever hurt him anymore. Before he went to sleep he was a little wary of believing him, but after waking up and feeling this refreshed, nothing can kill his good vibes.

Except maybe that sharp pain shooting up from his arse to his spine or maybe even that little twinge in his jaw from last night. But that’s ok because that’s the last time it will happen to him as a punishment.

Harry knows that it might be just a little bit _or a lot a bit_ idiotic to trust Louis’ promise this time around when he’s broken the same one many times before. But Harry feels good about this one, like this is the one that’s gonna change them and make them that much better, that much _stronger_. And plus all great relationships have trust so Harry is willing to start for his love.

A buzz from the side of the bed pulled the curly haired boy out of his thoughts and as he reached over for it he tried his hardest not to groan with his soreness.

He didn’t even have to look at the name to know who it was from; it could only be Liam of course.

**Come open the door, we need to talk-Li.**

Looking back over at the sleeping boy next to him brought a smile to tug lightly at his lips. Harry bent over and placed a light kiss to his temple and whispered an ‘I love you’ before getting out of bed to get the door.

Now see getting to the door for Harry was kind of a mentally oriented process. He had to think about each step he had to take that would cause him the least amount of pain to course through his body, and on top of that he was waddling (quite a lot if he must say so himself). But Liam will have to not care about the waddling because there is no way that Harry can even fake his normal walk. Not today.

When he finally did get to the door and open it, Liam was standing behind it; looking Harry up and down with a cautious gaze before calming down just a little. Obviously he was trying to make sure Harry wasn’t so bruised and battered but Harry had clothes to cover that up.

Donned in his purple Jack Wills jumper, the fingerprints on his neck and the lashings on his lower back were covered. With his black sweatpants on, the lashings on his arse and upper thighs were shielded from view.

Harry stepped away from the door, silently offering his band mate some hospitality; which Liam took with a curt nod, before closing the front door behind them both and walking to the kitchen.

“Want some tea mate? Or coffee?” Harry asked with the hint of a smile lighting up his face.

“Nah but I could use a glass of water thanks” Liam replied, hyperaware of his band mate’s good mood and the way he waddles about the kitchen.

They leave it at that until Harry grabs his banana and cup of tea; then moves to sit opposite Liam at the table, who is just starting on his glass of water.

“So…” Liam starts not knowing how to get to what he wants to say.

“So,” Harry imitated, cocking his head to the side and raising one eyebrow, “what’s up Li?”

“Are you- like are you ok? What happened yesterday? After you guys left.” Liam inquired, starting slow but towards the end speaking a little more firmly.

Harry looked through the archway to the hall, taking a deep breath and silently praying to a God to keep Louis asleep so he will be able to tell his friend about his night in confidence.

The younger boy recounted his night to his friend, taking pauses every time he so much of thought that he heard a noise coming from another area of the flat. Liam sat waiting patiently though, Harry had to give him credit for that, and by the time he was finished the good mood he’d had when he woke up was brutally deflated.

“Let me see them,” Liam demanded, soft but stern when Harry had finished.

Harry frowned, “see what?”

“Your back Harry,” Liam pushed, standing up and walking around the table to urge the taller boy to stand up as well.

Harry just went along with it though; standing up and pulling the bottom of his shirt up to the armpits.

Liam gasped in horror,“fuck Haz,” and Liam was so happy that Harry couldn’t see his face. Liam had never seen something as awful as this. Not even back in secondary when he was learning about torturing methods to prisoners during World War II. Harry’s lower back was beat red; every lash was red and angry looking, as if touching it would not only hurt Harry but him as well. And on top of that there were finger prints littered all over his hips. Each one of them was purplish blue in tint and Liam had never felt so hurt for one of his friends.

“How’s it lookin’ Li? Wait can you even see them in this light?” Harry asked quickly; then proceeding to bend over the table for Liam to get a better look.

Liam put a hand on his upper back; holding Harry’s shirt up for him so that he wouldn’t have to, allowing the younger boy to get somewhat relaxed on the tabletop. “They don’t look too good Haz,” Liam whispered, bringing his other hand down to trace a soft line over one of the red marks.

Harry hissed out slightly at the feeling of Liam’s fingertips; and Liam muttered out a small apology then proceeded to rub circles into the younger lad’s back with the hand that had been resting at the top. Harry let out a deep sigh and submitted to his band mate’s ministrations; closing his eyes with his body going lax.

Both boys did this in silence, completely overtaken by the cautious yet relaxed ora of the room. Both Liam and Harry became so out of touch with the world around them that they missed the sound of someone getting out of bed, they did not hear the pitter patter of soft feet or the creaking of the floor boards as someone crept closer to the room. But they did hear a furious voice pull them back to reality.

“What the fuck is going on here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger ending!
> 
> I may upload the next part either today or tomorrow, idk yet.
> 
> Hope you're liking it so far !
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr @ [soulfatelarry](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/)  
> & i just joined this super awesome Larry Stylinson/Louis/1D blog so come visit us here @ [nofiltersquad](http://nofiltersquad.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -alyssa.xx


	9. Chapter 7 ~ Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is part two!
> 
> sorry its hella short, the next one will make up for it!

_Both Liam and Harry became so out of touch with the world around them that they missed the sound of someone getting out of bed, they did not hear the pitter patter of soft feet or the creaking of the floor boards as someone crept closer to the room. But they did hear a soft voice pull them back to reality._

_“What the fuck is going on here?”_

At different lows of his relationship with Louis, Harry has felt like his life might be over; like the first time Louis had tied him to the bed and left him alone for a few hours to “think about his actions”. Or maybe the time when Louis threw a glass at him in the middle of their dinner and it broke into pieces as well as broke his skin.

But this, this was different.

This was Louis, not saying anything at all, watching and waiting for an answer. And this was Harry, who is bent over with his shirt up, revealing all the debasement he received on his back to someone who is not Louis. But it is also Liam, who’s stunned into silence, feeling caught red handed and sort of wants to punch himself in the face for not thinking this out.

It is not supposed to turn out this way.

“Harry, babe,” Louis takes a step closer, “what are you doing love?”

Harry stands up as straight as a pencil, causing Liam’s arms to find their place by his sides. Looking up into Louis’ eyes he sees something different; something scary and so un-Louis and Harry doesn’t really know what to make of that. “N-nothing, nothing it-it’s nothing,” Harry stutters out, looking down at his hands still pressed into the table.

Louis settles him with a look, even though Harry can’t see it, but Liam sees it and he doesn’t like it at all. Knowing that behind those eyes are the means to cause pain to one of his dear friends. And that’s what scares Liam the most when Louis gets close enough to reach out to Harry; and pull Harry just that little bit closer into the circle of his arms.

Harry visibly flinches but no one mentions it. The younger boy just melts into the embrace like he knows his boyfriend craves for in moments like this; in moments before the inevitable happens.

“Liam we’ll be right back,” Louis says, dragging Harry by his wrist back the way he came; toward the master bedroom and Harry has no choice but to follow.

“Lou, no don’t-,” but Liam’s pleas fall on deaf ears. His last vision of Harry being emerald eyes imploring him into silence.

***

“What the fuck were you thinking Harry?” Louis whisper yells the second they pass through the threshold of their bedroom. “Oh wait that’s right you weren’t thinking because you think with your arse. Fucking tramp.”

Louis bounds over to a chest of drawers pulling out a roll of gray electrical tape; ripping a piece off as he walks back toward his silent boyfriend.

“This is gonna teach you to keep your fucking mouth shut,” Louis spits venom as he wraps the tape around his boyfriend’s mouth and head a few times, three layers of tape to keep his mouth shut and Harry knows it’s gonna hurt to take it off.

Harry closes his eyes as the older boy bounds Harry’s wrists together as well; the edges of the rope digging into his wrists and maybe Harry needs to tell himself that this pain is nothing compared to the other times.

Green eyes open as he feels his body being pulled forward, but not toward the bed oh no no no. Harry is being pulled toward the closet.

Louis opens the door and it’s just cramped and cluttered enough to make Harry feel very uncomfortable. Harry’s only staring straight into the closet as he feels pressure on his ankles but he thinks nothing of it when his mind is too busy trying to work out what plans Louis might have for him and the closet.

But then he hears Louis step away and his body is jolted forward and into the closet; falling into clothes that fly of hangers as well as landing head first into the shoes on the floor. Harry tried to catch himself, he really did, but he finally realized that the pressure on his ankles from before was more tape, officially cutting off his mobility.

Harry somehow wiggles his long body around until he’s on his back; looking up at his boyfriend who’s looking back at him with fierce blue eyes.

“Don’t cry baby,” and Harry didn’t even realize he was even crying, “This is only the beginning of your punishment.”

With that said the door closes and the lock clicks, leaving Harry surrounded in the darkness of the congested, cramped closet.

***

Shortly after Louis and Harry left, Liam began pacing the room; the only thing on his mind being the revelations Harry had told him about his relationship with Louis.

Liam felt great that Harry chose him to confide in when it could have been Zayn or Niall but he’s not gonna dwell on that now because he needs to figure out a way to salvage his band mate’s toxic relationship.

It’s quite obvious that they’re both going to need counseling to get better, but how is he single handedly going to get Louis to go and by association Harry as well?

“Leeeyum,” Louis drawls as he saunters back into the room, a big smile on his face as if nothing had just happened, as if Liam did not just see the physical abuse all over his boyfriend’s marred body.

“Hey Lou. Umm, where’s Harry?” Liam responded, tilting his body to look behind the curvy boy for the curly headed lad; frowning when he was nowhere in sight.

Louis’ smile fell slightly at that, but he soon recovered. “Harry’s feeling a little tired so he’s decided to get a little nap in.”

“You guys both just woke up, Lou.”

The older lad could not respond to that, he was simply caught.

“You need to stop hurting Harry, Louis. That boy does not deserve to be beaten like that,” Liam says gently. The last thing he wants to do is make Louis feel attacked... and then go attack Harry.

“You don’t fucking know anything Liam; so you have no jurisdiction to make any decisions based on Harry and I’s relationship," Louis snapped back. "So if you would be so kind as to kick yourself out of my fucking flat so I don’t have to do it myself…” Louis commands as he shoos Liam toward the door.

But Liam is faster and stronger than Louis so with a bit of resistance, Liam’s switched their positions and has Louis held wholly between the door and his own body. Louis struggles in his hold for a few seconds before he ceases his struggle, knowing it’s futile.

“Harry is my friend Louis, my best fucking friend, and even though we all love each other; I will not let Harry get hurt even if I have to go through you to save him,” Liam asserts as he grips tighter and tighter to Louis smaller body. “There needs to be a change Louis, this is not a healthy relationship and because I love you both; I am going to find you help.”

Liam backs off at the end of his speech; peels Louis off the door and walks out of the flat with determination in his step and a goal in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the next chapter already written so I'll post it soon after i proofread it !
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/)  
> & come look at a new [blog](http://nofiltersquad.tumblr.com/) my friends and I just started!
> 
> -alyssa.x


	10. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is set 3 months into the future from the last chapter

“So Louis, now that we are about halfway through our sessions do you believe that there has been a change in your relationship with Harry?”

“Umm, yeah I believe so,” Louis took a pause to collect his thoughts, “I think he is a little more trusting with me, a lot less fearful, which are good steps in the right direction.”

Dr. Walker nodded, her long naturally blonde curls shaking with the motion as she listens intently. It’s been about three months of this; Louis meeting with Dr. Walker twice a week for two and a half hours to help strengthen his relationship with Harry.

It was tough for the first few weeks, Louis never wanted to even see a psychotherapist but Liam had been firm by telling management of his little (huge) sadistic problem. Now that he has been going for a bit, he actually doesn’t find it too bad, he’s actually quite glad he had been forced to go. Seeing Dr. Walker has really made him open his eyes to see what he had been doing to Harry, and how terribly unhealthy it was.

It is also nice to know that he isn’t going through this alone either. Harry sees Dr. Walker three times a week for an hour and a half, and on occasion (about once a month) they both go to see her for two hours to talk with her about their progress together. Those are the sessions that Louis enjoys the most because that happens to be the time that Harry is completely unrestricted around him. It reminds him of the time when he had been in a good place in his life, when he was able to make Harry comfortable enough to let loose and be himself. Maybe he can bring that part of Harry back.

“It’s good to see that you’re making progress Louis,” Dr. Walker says in a clipped tone, but her gaze is now unnerving. Louis hates when she gets like this. He knows that she is going to say something that is going to piss him off. “But we still need to figure out what brought this change on.” There it is.

Louis can already feel his anger building. He hates seeing Dr. Walker because she always manages to get under his skin. He has only 10 minutes left of the session and he feels like he’s going to explode.

He doesn’t even realize he is grinding his teeth until she speaks up again.

“Louis, I know you hate when I talk to you about this but you need to realize that if we don’t get to the source of your problem then you will go back to square one. And you, Harry, the rest of the boys and your management don’t need that.” Louis takes a deep breath before he nods in understanding. “All I want to do for you, Louis, is help you move on from this phase.”

Louis nods again and he then wonders how he turned into a bobble head.

“I want you to go home, and have a talk with Harry and then maybe the rest of the boys. Maybe they can help you find out when you started to change.”

“Sure thing. See you next week.”

“Bye Louis.”

***

By the time Louis gets home, Harry’s in the living room watching a rerun of some show that ended years ago. But as Louis moves closer, he sees that Harry isn’t actually watching TV. The TV is watching him. Louis stands behind the couch, watching his boy sleep. His boy is too adorable. He can feel all the rage from earlier seeping out of his system as he watches Harry's deep breaths.

He looks so peaceful. He can’t believe he let himself get to the point where he took pleasure in hurting him. He can’t believe he let himself go into a blind rage.

Louis leans forward and gives Harry a gentle eskimo kiss before he leaves a real kiss on his forehead, then back down to his puffy pink lips.

Harry snuffles before his eyes flutter beneath his lids. He opens his eyes only to squint; it’s not even bright in the room but Harry always does this when he wakes up. Louis thinks his heart is about to burst.

Harry smiles up at him before telling Louis to “Come ‘ere”. Louis complies easily, rolling over the back of the couch and landing on the younger boy. Harry wraps his long arms around him, pulling Louis up until their faces are even before he leans up to give one then another lazy peck to the thinner lips above him.

“How did the session go?” Harry asks after they've spent a few minutes breathing in each other’s air.

“Pretty good I guess. Except for the fact that she gave me homework,” Louis replies with a pout. Harry kisses it away.

“Well what is it?”

“She wants me to talk with you and the boys, figure out when I started changing.”

Harry’s silent for a moment, seemingly contemplative.

Harry’s voice is low and timid when he says, “we can talk about it now… only if you want to.”

Louis slides to the side of his boyfriend, bracketing him in between his body and the back of the couch. Louis can see that Harry is getting tense in this silence, the pace of his breathing picking up even though he is trying so hard not to let Louis see. He is scared.

“Shhh,” Louis says as he leans into another kiss. He pulls away only an inch before he continues, “you’re tired, and I don’t want to talk about it now ok.”

“Ok.”

It’s about an hour later when both of them are wrapped around each others bodies where Louis starts talking. Harry is the little spoon and Louis mouth is right at the back of his neck. Harry had been drifting to sleep to the gentle breaths on his neck and the beating of his boyfriend’s heart against his back.

“I want you to be honest with me Haz.” Louis runs his hand down Harry’s side to sooth him. “Are you still scared of me?” Harry’s body is tense now, the hair on his body standing on full alert and his heart rate is picking up. Louis holds him tighter, “please be honest.”

“Only sometimes,” Harry starts. Louis can tell he’s biting on his lips without even looking at him.

“When?” Louis makes sure to keep his voice light.

“When you have bad days, or when someone makes you mad. I try not to make you mad.”

“I know baby you don’t make me mad. I don’t want you to be scared of me though.” Louis kisses the back of his neck before nudging Harry over to face him. “I want you to be happy when you’re around me.” Louis leans up and kisses both eyelids. “I want you to feel the greatest when you’re with me.” Louis kisses his nose. “You deserve that Haz, you really do.” Louis kisses his pink little mouth.

Harry’s eyes are wide when he pulls back. Louis thinks for the second time tonight that he is too adorable. “Will you let me help you relax babe?” Louis whispers, eyes focused intently on Harry. “Will you let me give you pleasure?

Harry could only stare wide eyed as his boyfriend closed the distance between their mouths. Yes, Harry did want Louis to give him pleasure but it’s been so long since he was granted that luxury. Before they started going to therapy, the only thing Louis would give Harry was pain. And since their last session, they have been tip-toeing around the subject of sex in general.

So as Louis got closer and closer, Harry couldn’t help but flinch away from him. The look on Louis’ face instantly told him that Louis was not even slightly amused with the action. Luckily, Harry recovered quickly enough.

“Loubear, I would love to do that with you again. But I feel like we should, I dunno, maybe talk about it first to avoid problems later…” Harry trails off by the end, reading the lettering on Louis’ shirt rather than his blazing blue eyes.

“So then let’s talk about it,” Louis snaps back; instantly agitated.

Only Harry is shrinking away slowly; knowing how much Louis hates it when Harry pulls away from him. “But Lou, maybe we should save it for another time, we’re both tired and -”

“Well we obviously need to talk about it and you obviously want to talk about it. So stop acting like a child. If you want to talk we should talk.” His voice sounds sweet but the grip on Harry’s wrists are anything but.

The younger lad tries again though. He’ll never stop trying. “We can talk about it when we are both calm tomorrow morning-,” but he’s cut off when he is roughly shoved off their comfy couch.

“I’m not in the fucking mood to deal with your bullshit. Go to bed Harold.” Louis words feel like fire against Harry’s skin. But it isn’t like the good fire that warms you up; it’s the bad fire that makes your skin blister at close range. “And go to the guest bedroom; if you can’t put out then you can’t sleep next to me.”

Harry didn’t cry that night, he was numb to it. At least he wasn’t being beaten physically anymore; even if the mental beatings won’t stop. The only thing Harry could think about was how Louis was able to switch his moods so easily. It wasn’t like he was drinking anymore but maybe Lou’s just stressed out. Or maybe he’s just acting out of love; he did want to have sex tonight. And with all of his thinking, Harry still couldn’t figure out the mechanics of his boyfriend’s mind.

“Hopefully it’s a phase,” Harry eventually mumbles to himself; seconds from sleep, “just a phase.”

***

Liam, Zayn and Niall go to Harry and Louis’ flat the following morning; having heard from management that Harry and Louis needed to have a group discussion with them. The three boys immediately jumped at the chance to help the young couple.

Harry had woken up alone, showered got dressed and then made a small breakfast for himself and Louis. They sat in silence while eating some egg on toast; Harry determinedly staring down into his sandwich to avoid eye contact with the other boy.

The green eyed boy was so wrapped up in his own mind that he didn’t even hear the knock on the front door, signaling the other boys’ arrival. However, he did hear Louis when he spoke up to him (But then again Harry is always inclined to hear Louis’ voice).

“Get off your arse and clean this shit up,” he commands as he gets up from the table. “And make sure you behave yourself, we have guests and I will not be happy if you fuck up.”

Harry immediately does as he’s told, all the while grabbing his bearings for the conversation that he is soon to have.

By the time Harry walks into the living room though, his walls are built. They’re built up sky high with thick cement and bricks, five layers deep so that no one can drill into him and see the frightened boy he really is. He refuses to be seen as weak by the lads. Even if he knows that they know he’s gotten the shit beat out of him.

Harry plasters a big goofy smile on his face at the sight of his four bandmates, “Morinin’ Gents!”

The other three boys look at him with a mix of emotions on their faces. Liam, sitting on one end of the couch, is looking at the youngest lad with unmasked sadness (unmasked because Liam is absolutely shit at hiding whatever he’s feeling). Niall is sitting in between Liam and Zayn, trying his best to appear happy when he knows their conversation will be far from it. Zayn on the other hand seems a bit indifferent, slightly curious but mostly all knowing.

Zayn’s look makes Harry’s smile fall just a tad. Zayn knowing more than he should is a bit scary for Harry, but then again, Zayn has always been hyper-perceptive of everything. The dark haired lad always seems to be the one to see right through Harry like an open book.

Harry’s not going to be just another novel for him today.

He goes to sit in the single chair across from Louis, but when his green eyes meet Louis’ expectant blue ones, he immediately changes course. He walks from one side of the room to the other to sit beside Louis in the loveseat.

The action doesn’t go unnoticed by the other three lads, but they leave it be. They don’t want to put the young couple on the spot just yet.

“Mornin’ Harry,” Liam says cheerfully, trying to stay ignorant of the matter at hand.

“Yeah g’mornin Larry! We’ve missed ya so much, How are things?” Niall asks.

“Oh nothin’ much. We’ve missed you lads too!” Harry responds a little to brightly.

Louis reaches over and rests his hand on Harry’s thigh before he adds, “Yeah we missed you all loads, I was starting to feel like you guys didn’t want us anymore.” Louis says with mock hurt, holding the hand that isn’t touching Harry to his chest.

“Aww Lou! You know we’ll always love you guys!” Liam says with a bit of sympathy.

“Which is exactly why we’re here right now,” Zayn addressed, getting right to the point because Zayn is never one to beat around the bush. Not when the situation needs to be brought up and worked out.

Harry liked it better when Zayn was just staring through him. And Harry knows that this is bound to be a long conversation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is still kind of short but longer chapters in the future I promise ! and I am finished with re-reading and posting what I had written a while ago so now the rest of this story is basically brand new (to you and to me lol). But this also means that I will not be as fast with updates but I am going to aim for once or twice a week!! Bare with me, and comments help me write quicker *wink wink*!!
> 
> come visit me on tumblr @ [soulfatelarry](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/)  
> & visit my friends and I @ [nofiltersquad](http://nofiltersquad.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -alyssa.x


	11. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this has typos and stuff, i will have to proof read later oops D:

“Would you guys like anything?” Harry asks, embracing his inner housewife, “We’ve got some water, tea, coffee or soda?”

Niall responds quickly, “I’ll take some soda mate.”

“Water, with no ice. Thanks Harry,” Liam says gently, always the one to be courteous.

“Tea for me babe. You know how I like it,” Louis chirped, giving Harry a firm squeeze on the thigh as he stands up to walk passed.

“I’ll come help you Haz.” Zayn stands up curtly, following after Harry as they both head for the kitchen.

Harry immediately goes to put water in the kettle for it to heat up for Louis’ tea before getting the drinks for the other boys. He doesn’t mean to ignore Zayn’s presence, except he totally does because Harry was never a fan of confrontation. In fact, Harry is just a ball of nervous energy and butterflies knowing exactly why the boys are here in the first place.

Trapped in his thoughts, Harry is startled when Zayn grabs him by the shoulders and spins him around. Wide-eyed and staring Zayn in the face, Harry doesn’t know what to think. His mind is still racing a mile a minute, afraid of what is coming. Afraid of the people in the next room. Afraid of the things that will be said. Zayn must see the trepidation on his face because in the next second arms are around his whole body and he’s being swallowed by Zayn. One hand comes up to rub at his curls while the other rubs soothing circles in his back. It calms him down, to say the least. Zayn always knows how to comfort without words. Which is just what Harry needs.

Taking a few deep breaths, Harry returns the hug, the muscles in his back loosening the longer they stand in the embrace. They hardly realize how much time has passed before the kettle on the stove begins to whistle.

“Thanks Z,” Harry murmurs quietly pulling away slightly as Zayn reluctantly lets him go. “I really needed that,” he continues quietly as he goes to remove the kettle and grab Louis’ favorite mug.

“Of course babe,” Zayn replies, equally as quiet as he grabs a soda from the fridge and then proceeds to pour some water in a glass for Liam. By the time Zayn is finished, Harry has finally perfected Louis’ tea (three sugars and a spoonful of honey) and Zayn cuts the silence with a, “c’mon let’s get back to the others.”

With the drinks in tow, both boys amble back into the other room, reclaiming their previous seats after setting down the drinks. Harry takes the time to notice that the room isn’t as tense as it was when the other boys had first arrived. Zayn has helped him calm down and Harry can see in his eyes that Zayn is satisfied for diffusing the strain from Harry’s mind. Niall, Liam, and Louis also seem more relaxed. Niall’s face is a bit red, a tint that usually happens after nonstop laughter for a while, and Liam still has his eyes half-lidded like after he hears something genuinely funny. 

Louis, on the other hand is absolutely _gorgeous_. His face is glowing, which compliments his baby blues that are barely seen with his eyes crinkled in mirth. His fringe is a bit messy, like he’s been running his fingers through them when they keep falling in front of his eyes. Harry loves this look on him, he hasn’t seen this look in a long _long_ time. Yes, Louis still smiles and laughs but it seems like it’s been forever since Louis has smiled and laughed and actually _meant it_ ; smiled and laughed because he was legitimately _happy_.

Harry doesn’t even realize he’s been staring (probably looks like a right loon to the others, but who cares?) until Louis looks over at him and his expression softens a bit, like he’s equally as enamored by Harry as Harry is about him. Harry wants to live in this moment forever. _I love you so soo sooooo much._

Zayn shatters the silence as he starts the dreaded conversation that Harry knows is necessary but he really isn’t in the mood for it. “We think it should be said first that we don’t want to seem like we’re attacking you guys when we have this discussion. We’re only here to help you, you know that right?”

“We know that you both were in a very bad place only a few months ago. We’ve seen you guys come so far already and we know that you still have a long way to go.” Liam says, looking at the two boys fiercely, the smiles are gone and replaced with determination. “We are willing to do anything in our power to help you not go down that road again.”

“We love you lads to death,” Niall continues, “we are all a family, we are brothers, and brothers aren’t gonna just turn their backs on each other.”

Harry doesn’t think he’s ever loved these boys more than in this moment. Not when they played at Madison Square Garden or the O2, not when they won their first Brit Award, not even when they went camping that one time and they sat around the campfire for a while and reminisced about the future. A future after they finally got a chance to be normal again, when all the hype would finally die down and they would have families of their own.

Harry loved them so much in those big moments but nothing will ever compare to this one. No, it doesn’t even come close because in this moment these boys are here because they were at the lowest point in their relationship. These boys got a glimpse into what was happening and they refused to look away. These boys saw a problem and are prepared to jump into the fire for the sole purpose of extinguishing it.

These boys are his brothers, and he will forever be thankful to have them.

“We,” Louis offers as he waves between Harry and himself, “would like to take the time to thank you guys for being here to help us. It means the world to us that you lads will always stand by us.”

Harry chimes in when Louis finishes, “honestly thank you guys, we really appreciate the things you do for us and we wouldn’t be where we are today without you all. We love you so much.”

“Aww Harry, you sap.” Liam coos, fondness for the younger lad in his voice. “Don’t get all emotional on us yet! We still have serious matters to discuss.”

“Right,” Louis falters, his fond expression being replaced with hints of anxiety, remembering that they will be discussing **him**. “Well lads, let’s get the ball rolling yeah? When do you think I began changing?”

Instantly all the boys stiffen up, shifty eyes looking anywhere but at Louis and Harry hates this. They all shouldn’t feel uncomfortable around each other and it’s sad that it has to be this way.

“Woah, don’t all come at me at once!” Louis laughs as he tries to diffuse the tension. It gets a chuckle out of Niall and a small smile out of Liam. “Seriously boys, I want to know how you all feel so that things can be better. Don’t be afraid to say anything. I won’t bite” He ends with a small yet sincere smile.

Niall is the first one to speak. “Well, to be quite honest Tommo, I really didn’t notice anything. When I found out about what was going on from Li, I was honestly shocked and really couldn’t believe it.” Niall admits as his fingers play with a stray thread at the bottom of his shirt. “I’m a bit mad at myself too, that I didn’t notice anything sooner…”

“I think that’s something we’re all mad about Niall,” Liam cuts in, “we couldn’t even tell that you guys were hurting. I ask myself all the time if I was just ignoring the signs or if I just didn’t want to believe that something else was going on.”

“Hey, don’t put yourself down Li,” Louis scolds. “It is not your responsibility and you shouldn’t put that weight on your shoulders. It was my fault that my relationship with Harry spiraled. Thinking back to what-ifs is not gonna help what’s going on right now. We have to look at where we’re going Li, not back.”

“We absolutely have to look back though Lou,” Zayn counters quietly, all the heads in the room turning to look at him. “We have to look back in order to find out what’s wrong because quite frankly, I don’t believe that it was anything recently that caused you to do this. Maybe you’re following in a certain someone’s footsteps…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sosososo sorry for the wait ! I just recently got a summer job that's already driving me crazy but I really need the money because my textbooks cost me about $500 a semester. I wanted to write so much more but i felt really bad that i made you all wait like a month so I scrambled to get something out to you. I hope you all like that this chapter is starting to hint at a bit of character development, still have a ways to go with this story in mind. I'll try not to keep you all waiting too long again and please let me know what you think !
> 
> come visit me @[soulfatelarry](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/) & a new blog i help co-run @[nofiltersquad](http://nofiltersquad.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -alyssa.xxx


	12. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are finally looking up for the boys as Louis comes to a realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first part of this is a flashback and its all in italics. I'm gonna say right now that there are some violent themes in the flashback so this is just a warning that if its triggering for you please just skip the italics !!!!

_The sound of a car door slamming in the distance was the signal that Jay dreaded to hear every single day. She knew that HE was here and he was a few minutes early and of course the day that she really needed those few minutes was the day that he decided to be early._

_Scrambling to set the table for two adults and a toddler, Jay was shocked to glance into the play area to see that little four year old Louis had drawn with colorful markers all over the carpet instead of his coloring book... again._

_Jay didn’t have the time to clean up the mess when Troy walked through the front door, heavy footed with what recently seemed to be a permanent scowl on his face. He took one look at the ruined carpet and his nostrils flared as his eyes found his wife’s. “What the hell have you been doing all day?” Troy seethed. “It looks to me like you’ve just let him wreak havoc like the annoying little shit he is,” He continues gesturing rapidly to the small boy still playing on the floor, crystal blue eyes looking up happily to see his father has returned home from work for the day._

_“Don’t you dare talk about our boy like that,” Jay bristled, her love for her little Boobear runs much deeper than the love for her husband._

_“He’s a little shit Jay, all he does is destroy my house, we should’ve got rid of him while we had the chance,” Troy fumes as he stomps towards Jay, glancing behind her to see the still unset table. “And where the hell is my food? Can you do nothing right Jay?” He booms, getting right in her face. “I’m mad at myself for getting trapped by you and that kid and now I have a worthless wife and a good for nothing, aggravating kid!”_

_It didn’t even take a second for Jay to smack him across the face, the sound of it causing Louis to whimper where he was still watching from the floor._

_It didn’t even take Troy a second to punch her in the eye, causing her to fall onto her back. Troy followed her down, straddling her smaller body to lay more blows to her face. “Don’t you ever hit me again Jay,” Troy spat, “I will kill you and the boy and I would make sure your bodies would never be found.”_

_Troy arose off from Jay’s body and went to grab his keys, walking back towards the front door, “I’m going to get some real food because it seems to me that you are incapable of making edible food for me.”_

_Jay didn’t even realize the food in the kitchen was most definitely burning if the smell was anything to go by. She was too shocked to even move and turn it off. She heard the door slam again and rushed to turn off the oven and stovetop so she wouldn’t burn the house down. And she walked back into the play area to see her precious little love crying silently on the floor._

_“Oh don’t cry Boo, Mommy’s got you,” she hushed, cuddling him close to her neck as she rocked them both back and forth. “It’s OK love stop crying.”_

_Louis slowly pushed himself away from his mother’s shoulder, sad blue eyes that matched her own showing no signs of the tears slowing down. “I cry ‘cause you cry Mommy. You stop cry.” He croaked out, shuffling back into Jay’s shoulder. “Why you hit Daddy? Why Daddy hit you? Why Daddy meany?”_

_“Shhh shh love,” Jay whispered as she wiped her tears with the hand that wasn’t holding Louis. “It will never happen again, Mommy and Daddy will never hit each other again.”_

_“Promise Mommy?” Louis asked, pulling back and holding up his little pinky._

_“I promise baby,” Jay assured, hooking her pinky around her son’s._

It only took a month for Daddy to break that promise. And he continued to break that promise for years. Until Louis was in third grade and caught Daddy pushing his willy into Mommy with his hands around her throat.

_Jay looked over and noticed her son standing in the doorway watching her husband take her and she realized that she needed to get away. That she needed to take her son and get them both away from him._

_The next day after Troy went to work; Jay called Louis’ school to inform them that he would not be attending for the rest of the week, she loaded the car with all of her and Louis things, maybe ripped up some furniture and drove to the refuge of her mother’s._

_She never looked back once._

*****

Louis was snapped back into reality when he realized that he had fallen into the part of his mind that he so desperately wanted to forget. Looking around the room he sees his boys, each with similar looks on their faces, confusion with little hints of sadness.

“Lou what just happened?” Harry spoke up first, eyes flitting between Zayn and his boyfriend.

“Nothing,” Louis whispered, not ready or willing to talk about the memories that plague his mind even to this day.

“You’ve got to be honest Lou,” Zayn declares softly, yet steadily as his gaze pierces through Louis. “You have to open up to them. If you never talk about it then how do you expect anyone to help you?”

Louis drops his gaze to his own lap, speaking quietly, “You know I hate talking about it Zee. It’s in the past and it’s where it needs to stay.”

“But that’s where you’re wrong Lou,” Zayn put in, eyeing the other three boys before focusing back on the blue eyed lad. “Don’t you remember what you told me? The things that you used to see Him do when you we’re younger. It’s similar to what you were doing only a few months ago Louis. Even if you wanted to put it in the past, it seems like the past will never leave you alone without help.”

“What’s he talking about Lou?” Liam interjects quietly. “ I feel so left in the dark over here.”

Sighing deeply, Louis looks at Liam, Niall and then Harry. Knowing that Zayn is right (because when isn’t Zayn right) Louis decided its only fair to tell them what he told Zayn about his parents past. Deciding to leave out the gory details, Louis tells them that his father used to abuse his mother and as an impressionable little kid he didn’t know any better. He saw the things that his father used to do for so long that he thought it was normal. When his mother finally got them away from his father, they never spoke about the abuse.

“Maybe Mum just thought that I never saw anything, and that could be why we never talked about it. It wasn’t until years later that I learned that what he did to her was wrong but…”

“But?” Niall gently urged.

“But maybe Zayn’s right. As much as I would like to say that all of that is in the past and I never want to look back… my behavior reminds me of His behavior, and I’m not ok with that.” Louis looks right at Harry this time “I don’t want to be like Him and I’m sorry that I was.”

Harry grabs Louis’ hand squeezing gently, eyes soft and sincere, “thank you for telling me Lou, I know it took a lot and I’m extremely proud of you.” Harry gives him a short peck on the mouth as he finishes.

“Well I’m not gonna give you a snog but, I’m proud of you too, thank you for telling us.” Liam chimed in, giving Louis a small pat on the knee.

“Good thing we helped you figure it out yeah Tommo?” Niall cheered, absolutely delighted. “Now what happens next?”

Smiling at the blonde lad he offers, “Well Niall, I guess I’ll just have to tell Dr. Walker at the next session and see what she has to say about that yeah? But for now I think our big reveal calls for a celebration!”

And by celebration, Louis means lounging around with his boys and calling to destroy the previous winner as they take turns playing the new FIFA. It’s not long until they get bored of that (also known as Louis wins way too many times and “victory dancing is not cool after the millionth time”) when they finally just channel surf until they find something good on tv.  
Niall runs to the kitchen and grabs a beer for each of them and they stay like that late into the night. Niall ends up falling asleep on the large couch. When Zayn starts nodding off Liam takes it upon himself to pick him up and bring him to the guest room. Louis tugs Harry up from the floor when he starts to get tired. Green eyes fighting to stay open as the alcohol and late night sweep over his body.

“Let’s get you to bed love,” Louis says softly, walking Harry to their room and stripping him off because he knows Harry likes to sleep basically naked. He lays Harry down and after turning the light off he gets in behind him.

They lay there for a few moments; Louis thinks Harry’s drifting off to sleep if his deep even breathing is anything to go by. Which is why he’s startled when Harry abruptly turns around. Now face-to-face, Harry leans in and gives him a deep kiss, wrapping his arms around Louis’ torso and intertwining their legs together. It’s a great kiss, better than they had in a while and Louis is actually happy when Harry pulls back. They don’t make the kiss too heated and with where their relationship is at it may be better to take things slowly.

Louis gives him another peck before whispering, “What was that for?”

Incredulous, Harry gives him a soft smile before replying, “I really am so so proud of you Lou. I’m so happy that you told me about your parents. I think this is a great step for us. Like we can only go up from here you know?”

“Yeah love, I see what you mean. I want to work hard with this. I promised myself that I wouldn’t turn into him… and I did even though I didn’t realize that I had.” Louis looks down between their bodies, ashamed. “I don’t ever want to be like him again Haz.”

“You won’t be like him again. You won’t and do you wanna know why you won’t?”

“Why?”

“Because now you really want it, you’re being honest with yourself and you know what needs to change. Well, you knew this whole time but now you understand why you acted the way you did and I really believe now that you won’t relapse. _We won’t relapse.”_

Louis leans in and kisses him swiftly, “You have way too much faith in me love. That’s a lot of pressure.”

“I don’t want to put you under pressure Lou, that’s the last thing you need so try not to think like that. Don’t put yourself down. And I have a lot of faith in us, I have enough faith for the both of us.”

“I’m sorry I put you through this Haz.” Louis apologizes earnestly.

“I wouldn’t go through all of this with anyone else. You are good Louis, you are a genuinely beautiful person and this whole thing is just another thing that we will get through together. Just like we always do.”

“I can’t believe you stayed with me. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to drop me right now Harry I swear I-“

“No Louis,” Harry cuts of his boyfriends rambling. “I’m not going to leave you, we have went through so much together. You are it for me. We’re soulmates Lou and you know that.” The curly headed boy kisses him on the mouth again before he turns onto his other side, back into their previous positions.

Louis kisses the back of his neck, “I love you Haz, I’ll try not to let you down again.”

“I love you back. And I know you won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long but on the bright side this is a bit longer than the last one and we have promise of character development! I hope you liked it and please let me know if you did! I'll try not to make the next wait too long just stick with me! Also, for any of you that had your wisdom teeth taken out, how long did the pain last afterword? Im on day two and Im so miserable right now, this is no fun at all ):
> 
> come chat with me on tumblr @[soulfatelarry](http://soulfatelarry.tumblr.com/) & a new blog i help co-run @[nofiltersquad](http://nofiltersquad.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -alyssa.xxx


End file.
